Cafeteria employee: What is the name of that guy who wrote The Pelican Brief? He wrote, like, eight books about the law.
Law student: Ummm… Dean Koontz…?
Cafeteria employee: Good one, man! This guy is smart!
600 New Jersey Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Cafeteria employee: What is the name of that guy who wrote The Pelican Brief? He wrote, like, eight books about the law.
Law student: Ummm… Dean Koontz…?
Cafeteria employee: Good one, man! This guy is smart!
600 New Jersey Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Female student #1: I dunno — maybe I should give up drinking.
Female student #2: That’s never a good idea.
Female student #1: It’s just that I’m older, y’know? The drinking scene is so played…
Male student, joining them minutes later: So, what are you guys doing this weekend?
Female student #1: Getting fucking hammered.
Female student #2: What happened to giving up drinking?
Female student #1: Oh, please, that was so two minutes ago.
University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: the iPod was just a front
Teacher: Do you all know your Roman numerals?
Student: Yeah — aren’t them those noodles you eat?
Rosedale Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: MsTchr4678
Professor: So, what did you think of the reading?
Student: Well, when I read the first part, I was like, ‘Dang!’
Professor: Um…
Student: And when I read the last part, I was like, ‘Dang! I mean, dang!’
University of North Texas
Denton, Texas
Disgruntled boy: … And they put the birth control education flyer up on my locker! My locker! I’m pretty sure that violates–
Overeager Spanish teacher, popping up from behind desk: –Oh! Oh! My mother used to put condoms under my brother’s pillow! We all called her the ‘Birth Control Fairy’!
High school
Livingston, Montana
Overheard by: Finally appreciates the tooth fairy
Preppy student: Hey, do you guys remember that penis enlargement video we watched in business class? Yeah, that was hilarious.
529 Vaughan Road
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: oh-that-new-curriculum
Student: So, now we have an extra microscope. Could we return it and get credit from the company?
Professor: Let’s sell it on the black market and use the money for a really big party!
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Student to another, after grabbing cookie from unattended table: What?! They left them out! That’s like leaving food out and not expecting the rats to come!
University
Prince George, British Columbia
Canadia
Teacher: That’s an interesting tattoo, Jacob*!
Student #1: Thanks.
Teacher: Are you like the tattooed man from The Great Gatsby?
Student #2, after long pause: Yo, we don’t read!
High school
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
