What about a Carrot? I Could Do a Carrot, I Think

Employee: I got pulled over for speeding last week, but somehow I got out of the ticket. What is the best way to do that, really?
Boss who’s an ex-cop: I once had a guy tell me he had a cucumber shoved up his ass, so I took him to the hospital and found out it was true.
Employee: Did you give him the ticket?
Boss who’s an ex-cop: Hell no.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: I’ll take the ticket, thanks

Posted on April 11, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Maryland, Possible Sexual Harassment

…When Giving Your “Good Things Come in Threes” Lecture

PR director to sales manager: I hope you weren't thinking about my nipples.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: just keep walking

Posted on April 8, 2015
Body Parts, Default, Executives, Possible Sexual Harassment, Texas, Wishes

Well, Try to Keep All Your Balls in the Air

Account director: Are you slammed?
Designer: Yeah, I’m juggling David’s* package along with everything else.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Posted on April 7, 2015
Designers and Photographers, Illinois, Possible Sexual Harassment, Words

The Copy?

Customer to salesman: Well, let's order that lube so we can get it coming.

Colorado

Posted on April 5, 2015
Colorado, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sales, Sexuality

In and Out of the Side Pockets

Boss: He can work the balls so nicely. In both directions.

Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on April 5, 2015
Dumb Customers, Maryland, Possible Sexual Harassment

Franklin Put Himself Through College Dancing in a G-String

Coworker #1: I love Ben Franklin!
Coworker #2: Me too. He's my favorite scientist!
Coworker #1: You should have a poster of him, and it could say something like “Monsters of Science.”
Boss: What?
Coworker #2: Oh, Ben Franklin is our favorite scientist.
Boss: Oh, I thought you were talking about some hunk.

Collegeville, Pennsylvania