Physical Appearance

11AM Interviews

Interviewer: Are you persuasive?
Candidate: I call it force of personality. Like, I read people and
then I get them to do things by acting different ways. Like some people, I yell at them. I’m not mean but I yell at them. But like my boss, I can’t yell at him.
Interviewer:Because he’s your boss?
Candidate: No. He does better if I do like, a little girl act. You know? Like, “Oh please.”
Interviewer: Um, okay. So, who is your favorite designer?…This isn’t a trick question. I just want to know.
Candidate: My favorite designer is United Colors of Benetton.

721 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: mean girls

Sure, Emperor — Sure

Boss: Just because I don’t wear my clothes to work doesn’t mean I don’t have them.

55 Elk Street
Albany, New York

Overheard by: clothed employee

I Once Did a Gin Marathon, Though.

Office worker: I ran 16 miles last night.
Rep: You ran 16 miles… I ran for 12 minutes. Does that count?
Office worker: I am training for a marathon. I came home at 10 pm last night and my knees were all bloody.
Rep: Oh, did you fall?
Office worker: Yeah, twice.
Rep: And you kept on running?
Office worker: Yeah.
Rep: The only thing coming out of my veins is booze!

Buffalo, New York

4PM Coffee Break

Co-worker: I do find that when I wear my glasses I’m menaced by street hoodlums more.

176 Grand Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Eli Mavros

If You Unfocus Your Eyes Just Right, You Can See One of Those ‘Magic’ Pictures

Worker: Bob’s balls are hanging out of his shorts.
Manager: Yeah, he’s got real hangers.
Worker: You should tell him.
Manager: I like it. No one else can see it, and it’s his lunch break. Besides, you’ve been looking at his scrotum for the last ten minutes.

Balboa Park
San Diego, California

Overheard by: fellow worker sitting nearby

I Like It– and I Like Men Who Like It

Coworker #1: The side of my lips are dry!
Coworker #2: I put ChapStick when that happens to me!
Coworker #1: I'm doing it!
Coworker #2: Oh, man…I got ChapStick on my mustache!
Coworker #1: Girl, you are not suppose to say that!

36th & 8th
New York City, New York

Overheard by: LIL Papi Chulo K.L.

Well, You and I Could Still Meet

Manager: So, the meeting is cancelled.
Office hoochie: And I put a clean thong on for this!

1950 Broadway
Oakland, California

Overheard by: mcbutters

Colleagues Eventually Start Acting Like Brothers and Sisters

Girl with bad case of poison ivy on face and arms, day #3: My face is looking better!
Coworker: Well… The poison ivy is clearing up.

Carrollton, New Orleans

Overheard by: Itchy

Awww…Thank You!

Gay 20-something coworker, to female 20-something coworker, eyeing coworker's blackberry: You know, with you having that phone, I'd think you were a professional…until you opened your mouth.

University of California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: venusflesh

How Are Your Interns Working Out?

Old drone #1: Does she have a harness?
Old drone #2: Yeah, but she said she doesn't like to wear those.
Old drone #1: She try one of those choker things?
Old drone #2: I don't know, I'll suggest that to her… she might find it more comfortable.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

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