Male lawyer, presented with basket of assorted candy bars for his birthday: Wow, Skybar, Fifth Avenue! I haven't seen some of these candy bars since the 1970s.
Cute secretary: I was checking out your Clark Bar before.
Male lawyer: I'm flattered!
Law office
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Suit on phone: Hey, is the Frenchman there? Is the vet there? Who's there?
Times Square
Manhattan, New York
Coworker #1: Yeah, we just got some lame intern for the department, just because he is friends with the president's daughter.
Coworker #2: Huh? He really is? Isn't she like 13?
Coworker #1: Not Obama, you stoner! The president of the company.
Stonybrook University
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Kevin
Man on cell: That's just the delay in copulating your pig.
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: MonCree
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: I expect the customer service to go hand in hand with the product I bought.
Apple store employee: I see, but there is water damage to the iPod.
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: But it did not happen while I have had it, it probably happened in the store.
Apple store employee: How long have you had it?
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: It's brand new.
Apple store employee: This model has been discontinued.
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: Well whatever damage happened, I didn't do it. I didn't drop it in water.
Apple store employee: Ma'am, we don't put water in our iPods.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Celine
Coworker to another, fresh out of reconstructive shoulder surgery: You can't even flip people off. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who cannot raise his middle finger.
Financial District
Manhattan, New York
Girl at restaurant to friend: Hey! Come sit by me!
Friend: I'm gonna sit down here instead.
Waiter to girl: Persuade him. Use your female seduction powers.
New York City, New York
Female coworker #1: I smell fish. Do you smell fish?
Female coworker #2: I do. How 'bout you start washing your vag more often than you wash your car?
Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York
Overheard by: Molly Guns
Employee/roommate #1: I'm sorry but I have to keep my poop in the refrigerator.
Employee/roommate #2: Only if you double bag it.
39th St & Broadway
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Annie
Clerk lady #1: Oh, thank you for bringing that up, you reminded me I have to go get my license renewed on my way home today.
Clerk lady #2: You can't just mail it in?
Clerk lady #1: Well I have to actually go in because I have to take an eye test because it's been ten years.
Clerk lady #3: Oh…you sure it's not because you're over 50?
Clerk lady #1: Fuck you.
Yaphank, New York
Overheard by: Junior
