Woman: Yeah, he was the 12 year one night stand. (pause) God, I can't even be a ho right!
Warrenville Road
Downers Grove, Illinois
Overheard by: Jeny
Woman: Yeah, he was the 12 year one night stand. (pause) God, I can't even be a ho right!
Warrenville Road
Downers Grove, Illinois
Overheard by: Jeny
Coworker #1: Are the lights in the office flickering?
Coworker #2: No, you're just having a stroke.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss to employee: Vodka's supposed to be the best alcohol for you because it's clear. Like, it has less bad stuff in it.
Chicago, Illinois
Man: So what’s that building over there?
Tour guide: That’s the Wrigley Building.
Man: So what does Wrigley do?
Tour guide: They make gum.
Man: Gum? Really? What kind of gum?
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Gay coworker, walking past office: I love making the girls giggle.
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker on way to office birthday party: Let's go eat some of this birth cake.
Pal: Technically, it's “after-birth” cake.
Erie Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Admin Ass
Swedish employee: You’re responsible for all the wars in the world.
Jewish employee: Well, you’re responsible for… Abba.
Diehl Road
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: not getting sent to HR
Man reading aloud from newspaper: North Carolina law describes malicious castration as cutting off, maiming or disfiguring a person’s gentiles…
725 West Golf Road
Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Overheard by: Gentile Intactus
Boss: Do we have Google installed on our internet?
IT guy: We put it on your machine yesterday.
700 W. Van Buren Street
Chicago, Illinois
Co-Worker #1: He was born in Spain, but his parents were born in Haitia, right?
Co-Worker #2: You mean Haiti?
25 East Washington Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lesley
