New hire: They finally mopped the floor by my desk.
Boss lady: Did they wax your area, too?
728 State Street
Madison, Wisconsin
New hire: They finally mopped the floor by my desk.
Boss lady: Did they wax your area, too?
728 State Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Manager: Oh, oh! Are you coughing?
Gagging cube rat: No… I’m… Choking…
Manager, walking on: Oh, good, I thought you were getting sick, too.
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Manager #1: I don’t understand why they didn’t process these taxes… Hey, do you ever find your fingers swell and contract, like, every day? A lot?
Manager #2: No.
277 Front Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: You don’t need lubricants. That’s what diarrhea is for!
Kansas
Coworker #1, to coughing coworker: You need the Heimlich?
Coworker #2, sharply: No!
Coworker #1: You remember when Donnie* gave Ellie* the Heimlich and she threw up all over?
55 Water Street
New York, New York
Boss: Look, I don’t care if you use the loft, but if you get butt-ass freaky, just change the sheets.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Lady peon looking at clothing ad from ’70s: The sad thing is, how many people in this died from AIDS?
6000 Southport Road
Portage, Indiana
Overheard by: Justin Russo
Fashion exec on phone: Did you smell your shorts yet?
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: I smelled them too
Cube monkey #1: It’s not like there are a lot of straight people at this office to sleep with.
Cube monkey #2: You could sleep with the IT guy — Harold*.
Cube monkey #1: Ew, he’s a whore. I don’t want to get crotch rot.
Cube monkey #2: What on earth is crotch rot? I’ve never heard of that.
Cube monkey #3: Not only have I heard of it, I have smelled it!
731 Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Anna
Male worker #1, pointing at desk: What is that?
Male worker #2: I don’t know.
Male worker #1: It looks like a booger, and it’s not mine!
Male worker #2: How do you know it’s not yours? It’s on your desk!
Male worker #1: Because I eat mine.
Male worker #2: Oh, God…
1574 South West Temple
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Shaun
