Male coworker: So,what’s new?
Female coworker, surfing the net: I don’t know… Britney Spears had her kids taken away.
Male coworker: I heard about that.
Female coworker: They’re not very cute, anyway.
Male coworker: It’s because she has an ugly puss.
Female coworker: What?!
Male coworker: Women with ugly vaginas have ugly babies.
East Evergreen Street
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Waiter: She did not like it in the ass.
Waitress: Really?
Waiter: At first, I mean.
Waitress: But as she got more and more drunk, it felt better?
Waiter: I don’t know about better, but she stopped yelling.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Lady coworker: I really need to rent the Star Wars movies and watch them again. I only remember, like, the old guy and the little robot thingy.
4505 Maryland Parkway
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Princess Leia
Trainer: My wife collects bolts of fabric and weaponry… I collect books, DVDs, and Black Plague memorabilia…
Attendee: Ummm, I collect coins…
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Bored in Training
Chick on cell: Uh-huh… Yeah. Okay. Call me later. [Snaps phone shut and turns to friend, loudly] So, oh my god, she has chlamydia and–
Horrified retail guy: –Okay, I didn’t hear that…
Chick on cell: I did not say it that loudly… right?
Horrified friend: Yeah, you really did…
Shop 13, 1100 Pacific Highway
Canadia
Overheard by: Not that loud…
Older lady suit on conference call: My hero is having babies today.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: in the cubicle next to her
Male cube rat: I got all excited because she said she needed blood money!
Female cube rat: Blood money?
Male cube rat: Yeah. But she just wanted quarters for the tampon machine.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Contractor: That hairy-legged bitch.
Manceptionist: Oh yeah, she’s a fucking dyke. That’s why she has a bastard child.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1 on phone: Seriously, it was like neutering a cat with a butter knife.
Coworker #2 on speaker: What?
DT Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Suddenly glad I don’t have pets
Temp: I, like, can’t believe I don’t have herpes yet.
1212 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
