10AM Chris Back from Vacation

Exec: I was in this fabulous hotel in Banff, in Alberta. And these Japanese businessmen were there too, and you know, the Japanese are so…what’s the word? Xenophobic. These Japanese businessmen come walking down the hall, seven abreast, as though everyone should just naturally get out of their way. So I just clipped the guy on the shoulder and spun him around. And he looked at me with this look and I said, “Hey, pal; welcome to America.” Actually, it was Canada, but same difference.

2000 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo

Posted on August 12, 2015
Executives, Gossip, New York

I Told You to Stop Taking Shortcuts through the Elementary School

Coworker #1: Yeah, Sue* and I were in the middle of a big drug deal this morning.
Coworker #2: Nice! I walked through a prostitution ring on my way here.

2110 Western Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Posted on August 12, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Washington

Oh, Hell, I’m Smoking Right Now

Employee #1: Do you smoke?
Employee #2: I don’t. Um, I try not to. Well, I did yesterday.

171 Nepean Street
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: chain

Posted on August 9, 2015
Canadia, Dumb Employees, Gossip

Like If You Put Bleach in My Coffee

Line cook #1: Man, I had a friend that just got fired after being at her job for 20 years. That’s messed up.
Line cook #2: That’s terrible. What happened?
Line cook #1: She put bleach in her coworker’s coffee. She said it was just a practical joke, and they fired her for that, after 20 years.
Line cook #2: She did what?!
Line cook #1: She said it was a practical joke.
Line cook #2: Man, if I wanted to kill someone you’d know it. I’d just stab you.

4550 Scott Avenue
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Never eating there again

Posted on August 6, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Missouri, Violence

Does She Like Breathing Phone Calls and Threatening Letters?

Co-Worker #1: Do you know who I’m talking about?
Co-Worker #2: Wait, is she attractive?
Co-Worker #1: I guess.
Co-Worker #2: Blonde? Short?
Co-Worker #1: Yah, that’s her.
Co-Worker #2: She’s married.
Co-Worker #1: Yah. Does she smoke weed?
Co-Worker #2: I don’t think so. But she should. That or a Xanax.

150 South Wacker
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 6, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Illinois, Physical Appearance, Relationships, Substance Use & Abuse

Can You Still Get a Refund on That Empathy Class?

Coworker after three-day absence: Oh my god! It’s so stressful! My three-year-old has a double ear infection and pneumonia! I haven’t slept in days!
Boss: Oh, I know! Tell me about it! My cat has colitis!

West Fayette Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Sure that’s almost the same thing…

Posted on August 5, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Gossip, Maryland

Sure Thing, Tammy.

Waiter #1, pointing: Tammy’s* either gettin’ a poochy belly, or she needs to trim that beaver.
Waiter #2: It’s beaver. I fucked her last month, after her sister died, and I thought I was suddenly in a ’70s porno.
Manager: You guys need to go find something to clean.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on July 29, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Gossip, Indiana, Possible Sexual Harassment

He Must Be Quite a Guy

Cube girl on phone: Don’t call it my ‘bosom’ — that makes me feel old. [A minute later] How many redheads with big boobs do you know?! Oh, your fiancée, I see. I didn’t know that.

Houston, Texas