Waiter #1, pointing: Tammy’s* either gettin’ a poochy belly, or she needs to trim that beaver.
Waiter #2: It’s beaver. I fucked her last month, after her sister died, and I thought I was suddenly in a ’70s porno.
Manager: You guys need to go find something to clean.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Cube girl on phone: Don’t call it my ‘bosom’ — that makes me feel old. [A minute later] How many redheads with big boobs do you know?! Oh, your fiancée, I see. I didn’t know that.
Houston, Texas
Coworker on phone: If you want to know any good 12-year-olds, I can tell you. Just ask.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Over H. Eard
Records department guy to another: It’s great because it’s flavored, so you don’t get that nasty taste that you normally get.
1740 Broadway
New York, New York
Female project manager to male CFO: I love a man in pleated pants. It's just so sexy…
Wilmington, North Carolina
Cashier: Wow, you’re pregnant!
Customer: Yep, that’s what they tell me.
Cashier: Well, it looks like you’re having a boy… or a girl. Definitely a boy or a girl.
Customer: Uh…
Grocery store
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Ryan
Perky woman: So, my friend’s neighbor was totally murdered on her front yard.
Man: Cool!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Super grad student
Co-worker #1: How did she end up one of the bosses?
Co-worker #2: She’s one of those people that keep getting promoted because she’s completely incompetant and has no sense of humor.
25 Brooklyn Avenue
Forsyth, Georgia
Person #1: Oooh! Chocolate cockers! I want a chocolate cocker!
Person #2: A what?!
Person #1: A chocolate cocker! I’ve never had a chocolate cocker!
Safety building, 30 North Murray Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Allison
Coworker #1: Hey, did you hear Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is pregnant? Explain to me how that happened.
Coworker #2 to Coworker #3: Joe*, you want to take care of this for me?
Waterfront
Washington, DC
