Gossip

Middle-aged order entry woman: Girls, I tell you, by the time lovin’ comes back around to me, that cherry will have done growed back!

8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: nikki

Employee to another: She always gets like that… when she cheats on him…

56 Haddon Avenue
Haddonfield, New Jersey

Office grunt: My grandfather used to exfoliate with Comet.

Buckhead Loop
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: OMG

Office drone #1: So my new next door neighbor’s name is Amanda and she has a 2-year-old named Mercedes.
Office drone #2: Good luck keeping that one off the pole.

15 Washington Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Manager #1: Amy* had her baby last week.
Manager #2: Who’s Amy?
Manager #1: She’s one of our graphic design artists. She’s very beautiful.
VP: Yeah, she is pretty. And she looked really good… Well, up until the end.

2700 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas

Overheard by: soolka

Office girl: Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while, how’ve you been?
Office guy: Oh, I guess you haven’t heard. Half my ear was bit off [turns to show bandaged ear].
Office girl: Oh my god, that’s awful! Human or animal?
Office guy: Human.

Boston, Massachusetts

Office girl on phone: I figured I might as well not waste these tears, so I took the opportunity to tell them about my fake dead aunt.

Abington, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: alxie

Boss: When [Martin] first started working for the company he called me up to introduce himself and told me how great the owner thought we were and how they should order all their appraisals from us. Then he said that he was a little confused by one thing the owner had said about me personally. He said that I liked showtunes.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

Rep on phone: You ever hear of a mojito? Well, I just created a new drink: the bro-jito.

10 S. Riverside Plaza
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Syd O’Banion

Development manager: … So then I told my wife that even if we raised our granddaughter she could still end up like her mother. I mean, she doesn’t have tattoos, but she does drugs and she’s a tramp.
IT analyst: Don’t call your daughter a tramp, that’s not nice!
Development manager: Why not? She sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Harry!
IT analyst: At least she has a social life.

1600 South 900 West
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Jealous