Eh, the Whole State Has a Permanent Case of Colony Collapse Disorder

Grunt #1: Oh, man, I need a bagel. I weighed myself this morning and I’m lighter than I should be.
Grunt #2: One thirty-nine?
Grunt #1: Yeah, that’s bad… Even for me.
Grunt #3: Carbo-load.
Grunt #2: Put butter and cream cheese on the bagel.
Grunt #1: Oh my god, did you hear about the bees?
Grunt #2: No.
Grunt #1: They’re dying.
Grunt #3: Oh, yeah, I think it was Einstein that said if the bees die, you know, culture dies…
Grunt #2: Bee culture?
Grunt #1: No, like us — California culture.
Grunt #3: Performing arts?

1355 Sansome Street
San Francisco, California

Posted on March 9, 2016
California, Dumb Employees, Gossip

If It’s on Wiki, It Has to Be True

Lead animator: Did you know Thomas Edison’s last creation was a wax phonograph cylinder rendered from his own fat?

Las Cruces, New Mexico

Posted on March 8, 2016
Employees, Gossip, New Mexico

… Than Having Him in the Oval Office for the Past Eight Years

Lawyer: If he was downstairs in the Girl Scout’s uniform, that would’ve been even better.

43rd Street and Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 4, 2016
Gossip, Lawyers, New York

11AM Department Meeting

Marketing muckety-muck: …I mean, you can put all the jewels that you want to on that girl, but if she doesn’t have the surgery, it’s not going to do any good.

163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper

Posted on February 24, 2016
California and Northwest, Executives, Gossip

Until I Woke Up Topless on the Jungle Gym with the Kids Staring at Me

Assistant, about the company holiday party: Shit, I didn’t even know where I was! I had the best time!

Beverly Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue
West Hollywood, California

Posted on February 18, 2016
California, Employees, Gossip, Holidays

I Told You I’d Take Care of It

Office grunt: That lady died? She’s the one that stole our air freshener out of our bathroom!

277 Coalinga Plaza
Coalinga, California

Overheard by: I love my co-worker

Posted on February 6, 2016
California, Coworkers, Gossip

Nuns Wore Stilettos

Older worker: You know what they used to call those shoes when I was your age?
Peon wearing ballet flats: Um, I’m not sure I want to know…
Older worker: Slut shoes. You could always tell which girls were easy because they wore shoes just like that.

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: wondering what she’d think of my 3-inch heels

Posted on February 4, 2016
Coworkers, Florida, Gossip, Insults

2PM Plan Celebration Dinner

Big Wig: Look at that!

He gestures at stapled paper.

Big Wig: I got it in the same hole…I’ve been trying to get it in the same hole for twenty years!

633 Spirit Drive
Chesterfield, Missouri

Posted on January 22, 2016
Dumb Bosses, Gossip, Missouri

I Think You Could Have Ruled Him Out at ‘Scooter’

Female coworker describing a guy she met: He pulled up on his scooter… with his sister on the back…

15351 Roosevelt Boulevard
Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: is that a good thing

Posted on January 12, 2016
Coworkers, Florida, Gossip

Its Job Is Done

Rail-thin colleague: Do you know that when you’re pregnant your brain actually physically shrinks?
Pregnant colleague: Oh, don’t tell me that! Everything else gets bigger, and my freaking brain shrinks?!

415 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Fertile Bystander

Posted on January 10, 2016
Coworkers, Gossip, New York

Gossip