Older worker: You know what they used to call those shoes when I was your age?
Peon wearing ballet flats: Um, I’m not sure I want to know…
Older worker: Slut shoes. You could always tell which girls were easy because they wore shoes just like that.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: wondering what she’d think of my 3-inch heels
Big Wig: Look at that!
He gestures at stapled paper.
Big Wig: I got it in the same hole…I’ve been trying to get it in the same hole for twenty years!
633 Spirit Drive
Chesterfield, Missouri
Female coworker describing a guy she met: He pulled up on his scooter… with his sister on the back…
15351 Roosevelt Boulevard
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: is that a good thing
Rail-thin colleague: Do you know that when you’re pregnant your brain actually physically shrinks?
Pregnant colleague: Oh, don’t tell me that! Everything else gets bigger, and my freaking brain shrinks?!
415 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Fertile Bystander
Middle-aged order entry woman: Girls, I tell you, by the time lovin’ comes back around to me, that cherry will have done growed back!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: nikki
Employee to another: She always gets like that… when she cheats on him…
56 Haddon Avenue
Haddonfield, New Jersey
Office grunt: My grandfather used to exfoliate with Comet.
Buckhead Loop
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: OMG
Office drone #1: So my new next door neighbor’s name is Amanda and she has a 2-year-old named Mercedes.
Office drone #2: Good luck keeping that one off the pole.
15 Washington Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Manager #1: Amy* had her baby last week.
Manager #2: Who’s Amy?
Manager #1: She’s one of our graphic design artists. She’s very beautiful.
VP: Yeah, she is pretty. And she looked really good… Well, up until the end.
2700 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: soolka
Office girl: Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while, how’ve you been?
Office guy: Oh, I guess you haven’t heard. Half my ear was bit off [turns to show bandaged ear].
Office girl: Oh my god, that’s awful! Human or animal?
Office guy: Human.
Boston, Massachusetts
