Old boss: I used to do bad things, you know.
Young employee: Really?! Yeah, right.
Old boss: Yeah, like dealing coke. How do you think we got the money to start this place?
Des Moines, Iowa
Old boss: I used to do bad things, you know.
Young employee: Really?! Yeah, right.
Old boss: Yeah, like dealing coke. How do you think we got the money to start this place?
Des Moines, Iowa
Lady peon: You can fit a lot tampons in there, but pads are a completely different story.
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: So What?
Sweet-looking old lady on phone: What’s the word on the street? Yeah, that little girl will do just fine… I told her it doesn’t hurt. Well, if you get a good client, it doesn’t hurt… Well, I’ve got twenty… Great, bye!
University
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Terrified Co-Worker
Grunt #1: Jack* and Cindy* both wore maroon shirts and pinstripe pants to work today.
Grunt #2: Don’t you wish they’d just make out already?
Grunt #1: Totally.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Boss: Me and my wife would drive a hundred miles for a jar of good pickles!
10749 West 84th Terrace
Lenexa, Kansas
Overheard by: PeaveyMan
Attorney #1: Where’s Stew*?
Attorney #2: Getting Botoxed.
Attorney #1: Oh, god, not again.
1202 Kettner Boulevard
San Diego, California
Worker bee to another: Did you hear our children are going to be the first generation to be stupider than their parents?
Pharmaceutical company
New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern
Casting assistant: I knew it was already dirty, but I was half way in and it was too late to turn back.
336 West 17th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: cubicle neighboor
Employee #1: Have you seen the new girl?
Employee #2: No, but Fat Matt in cube 3 was just asking for some ketchup, so you better hurry!
6666 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Grunt #1: Oh, man, I need a bagel. I weighed myself this morning and I’m lighter than I should be.
Grunt #2: One thirty-nine?
Grunt #1: Yeah, that’s bad… Even for me.
Grunt #3: Carbo-load.
Grunt #2: Put butter and cream cheese on the bagel.
Grunt #1: Oh my god, did you hear about the bees?
Grunt #2: No.
Grunt #1: They’re dying.
Grunt #3: Oh, yeah, I think it was Einstein that said if the bees die, you know, culture dies…
Grunt #2: Bee culture?
Grunt #1: No, like us — California culture.
Grunt #3: Performing arts?
1355 Sansome Street
San Francisco, California
