Order entry lady: It’s like they’re chasing each other around the apartment!
Shipping manager: Maybe they are.
Order entry lady: Well, he’s a little [whispers] fag. So, you know…
Shipping manager: Oh, yeah! Them people stay up all night! They got extra energy!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Office peon #1: I went to see monster trucks.
Office peon #2: I can’t see you watching monster trucks.
Office peon #1: It was so disappointing. You think there’s going to be all this destruction, but it’s really just a lot of smoke and noise. A flaming man did fall from the ceiling, though. That was pretty cool.
90 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker: I just can’t do PCP socially anymore. It’s such a mess.
5100 S MoPac
Austin, Texas
Suit #1: So, I heard they put you up at the Ritz in Seattle!
Suit #2: They did! I stayed there over the weekend. It was so nice…
Suit #1: Gangsta, son, gangsta.
Suit #2: That’s how I roll, homie.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Amused
Coworker: You killed a squid. Don’t act like you took down a moose with a pencil sharpener.
16761 Via Del Campo Court
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Hal Aljibury
Woman on phone: No, he just goes with the flow. And she is his flow.
323 East Grand River
Howell, Michigan
Woman on phone: He gave me a book of his own poetry that he’d had published and everything! But he’s not a total fairy, though… He used to be an engineer.
Westmead
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: every3rdthought
Male colleague: Feeling any better?
Female colleague: Sort of.
Male colleague: Did you go make yourself throw up?
Female colleague: No, I can’t do that.
Male colleague: Oh, you’re one of those people. I can do it on command. I have a very weak sphincter.
530 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: ap
Security Guard #1: Man, but 8 times! That’s gotta hurt.
Security Guard #2: Can’t be much difference to taking 7 slugs.
Wharf 8, Murray Street
Pyrmont
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: spleenboy
HR clerk: He got so excited and he crapped all over himself.
Receptionist, laughing: Did Jim [manager] do that again?
Hr clerk: Uh, no, I was talking about my new puppy.
Receptionist: Oh, forget what I just said. Please forget! I was supposed to forget.
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
