Office peon: You smell like a giant fruit fly!
Fishers, Indiana
Office peon: You smell like a giant fruit fly!
Fishers, Indiana
Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.
113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Office girl #1: But I thought he was, like, Mexican or Brazilian or something.
Office girl #2: No, he’s Filipino.
Office girl #1: Oh, so, like… Um…
Office girl #2: It’s like half-Mexican, half-Chinese.
Office girl #1: But he’s gay, right?
Office girl #2: Definitely — all gay.
Office girl #1: He’s from Gay Land!
Ad agency
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Half-Offended-Half-Laughing
Bimbo: She really didn’t betray him other than sleeping with someone else.
1300 Riverside Avenue
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: dazed and confused
Cube girl: It was like Donald Trump in Hammer pants.
Stratford, Connecticut
Employee to IT: So, I have to get my kid baptized, and I’ve been search the web all day. I find this site that says ‘Weddings and baptisms,’ so I open it up and — you guessed it — porn!
20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Peon on phone, about his son: … So I bought him condoms… Yes, Mom, I know he’s 15, but I was having sex at 15…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: amused and disgusted all at once
Waitress: How are you doing today, sir?
Man: I’m on work release.
Waitress, suddenly nervous: Oh… okay. I’ll be right back.
Pancake house
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: Rachel
Woman: Be still, we have to wait for our turn.
Kid: Why are we here?
Woman: We’re returning a package.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because I don’t want it.
Kid: What’s in it?
Woman: I don’t know. I think it’s pantyhose.
Kid: You don’t want the pantyhose?
Woman: No, I don’t want the pantyhose.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because pantyhose are evil.
Post office
Leander, Texas
Overheard by: Faedorah
50-year-old woman cashier to customer: … And then I had to chase them with my pants down, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to wipe yet!
17111 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
