Designer: Hey, you left your turn signal on. Better turn it off or you’ll run out of blinker fluid.
Secretary: Oh, okay. I don’t even know how to check that. I’ll have the guy at the dealership fill it next time.
201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Consultant: First she was in Picture magazine, and that was okay. Then it was People magazine, and that was all right. But then she did Hustler, and that one really disturbed me. I mean, it’s strange to look at porn magazines and see your daughter naked, y’know?
44 Phillip Street
Parramatta, New South Wales
Australia
Junior Partner: I’m leaving at noon today because I think I put my underwear on backwards this morning.
Senior Partner: I really don’t know how to respond to that.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck Tabler
CSR: Did you look at the fax machine?
Tech: Yes, it’s gorgeous!
203 Floral Vale Boulevard
Yardley, Pennsylvania
Manager: I hope those envelopes don’t have subpar glue on them.
Boss: I don’t know; I’m a lover not a licker.
7 Middlesex Road
Tyngsboro, Massachusetts
Boss: Where the fuck is my breakfast? Why hasn’t it been delivered yet? I’m not even hungry anymore, I could have raised my own fucking chicken for the eggs and planted my own fucking orange tree by now.
Worker: You didn’t order anything with eggs.
135 West 36th Street
New York, NY
Manager: Does anyone have a vanilla folder?
Underling: A what?
Manager: A vanilla folder?
Underling: A what?
Manager: A vuh-nil-uh folder!
Underling: Sorry, I only have chocolate.
508 Carroll Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Nursing Aide: What do I do?
CSR: Just fill out the brown application.
Nursing Aide: Okay, I filled out my name, but where do I put my address?
CSR: No ma’am, the brown application. That is a calendar.
99 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: praying I don’t need medical attention
Cube #1: Did you know you can type “deferred” with one hand?
Cube #2: Couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: Yeah…but you can type it with one hand.
Cube #2: Yeah…couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: No…I mean, it means you can type it with one hand; the letters are all within one inch of each other. D-e-f-e-r-r-e-d.
Cube #2: Oh!…I definitely spelled that wrong.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Urinal #1: I am going home for the day. Take care, you have a good one.
Urinal #2: Thanks; I didn’t even know you were looking.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
