Annoying peon: Can you get on the internet? [To a second peon] Can you get on the Internet? [Shouts down hall] Can anyone get on the Internet?! Nothing will come up! I can’t even get my usual porn sites to come up!
Baltimore, Maryland
Annoying peon: Can you get on the internet? [To a second peon] Can you get on the Internet? [Shouts down hall] Can anyone get on the Internet?! Nothing will come up! I can’t even get my usual porn sites to come up!
Baltimore, Maryland
Lady peon, back from vacation: Yeah, so in Israel they have something called Shabbat every Friday. I think it’s a chicken dish.
2701 NW Vaughn Street
Portland, Oregon
Lady peon on phone: I don’t know… That whole Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is overrated.
1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Worker: Is the mailer-daemon a real person?
Tech: Really?
11766 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Employee: Why are you eating?
Hungry guy: Because it’s Tuesday.
8531 E Marginal Way South
Seattle, Washington
Old man peon looking at photograph: This is dated 1873 — a year before Pabst won the ribbon!
Washington, DC
Employee #1: I’ve never worked in an office building where there are so many plants. It’s getting to look like a jungle in here.
Employee #2: I don’t care about how it looks. I’m just worried that these plants are going to use up all of our oxygen.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Worker bee: I don’t have his cell phone, but he’s always at his desk… Except when he isn’t.
4339 Corporate Center Drive
Las Vegas, Nevada
CSR: What time is it?
Manager: Look at your computer. See those numbers in the lower left-hand corner? That’s the time.
CSR: Oh. Well, what I need to know is, what time is it in Guam?
3912 North 29th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida
Overheard by: George
Council member: I heard you need my John Doe on something.
Clerk: I need your signature on some documents.
Council member: Yeah, my John Doe.
Clerk, laughing: You mean your John Hancock — John Doe is an anonymous dead body. [Council member looks puzzled.] John Hancock has the biggest signature on the Declaration of Independence — that’s where the term comes from.
Council member: Oh.
City Hall
San Francisco, California
