Dumb Bosses

Boss commencing presentation with safety information: In case of fire, there are two exits to my rear.

411 Keeler Avenue
Bartlesville, Oklahoma

Boss: Oh you fucking idiot!
Pause
Boss: Why don’t you just go home, you wanker!
Boss walks out of the office.
Employee: Who are you yelling at?
Boss: Me, I’m going home!

301 Pirie Street
Adelaide, Australia

Overheard by: Jessica

President: You really need to stop asking so many questions and start figuring things out for yourself, especially when you are out producing jobs.
Worker: You’re right, I realize that. I’m trying harder.
President: And about this job you worked Saturday night; did you know what you were doing there?
Worker: To be honest, I wasn’t sure on some things.
President: Well, did you ask anyone what your role was supposed to be? If you don’t know something you really need to start asking questions. People are here to help you.

200 West 57th Street
New York, NY

Supervisor: I hate Jane Murray* with such glee, my hate for her actually brings me joy.

Manahawkin, New Jersey

Proud boss, hands on hips: I got a call from my wife today. I’m going to be Jesus Christ tomorrow in my church play!

Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: freakazoid

Boss: I would love to be the male equivalent of Tara Reid.

98 San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: amused

Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages.

245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Manager: Everybody who was smoking pot in here last night is fired! … Okay, looks like I have a vacant building.

Schenectady, New York

Overheard by: fired

JP Morgan Office Manager: Do he know he have a meeting? Her said he have a meeting.

38 W. 75th Street
New York, NY

Boss: He's going to either London or England. I'm not sure which.

Pasadena, California

Overheard by: Paper Pusher