Senior Partner: How come my computer’s not working?
Techie: It seems your hard drive crashed.
Senior Partner: That’s not possible; I don’t visit porn sites or any drug suppliers.
527 E. 78th Street
New York, NY
Senior Partner: How come my computer’s not working?
Techie: It seems your hard drive crashed.
Senior Partner: That’s not possible; I don’t visit porn sites or any drug suppliers.
527 E. 78th Street
New York, NY
In respose to several of our wholesale customers reporting strong on-line sales in December; Boss: We do all the work and they make all the money? We have a website too and it’s time we started reminding these people of that! We need to be making a hell of a lot more money areound here than we are now. Time to start firing a few of these so-called “Top Customers”. That’ll fucking show ’em who’s boss!
800 Boylston Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
GM: Why don’t we have any donuts? We should have a Donut Day.
HR Manager: That won’t fly, [Kevin]. I’m trying to promote wellness.
GM: Donuts make me feel well.
2512 Sage Valley Drive
Gillette, Wyoming
Overheard by: John Pettyjohn
Department Manager: How do we file a claim?
Insurance Rep: Just download a claim form and fax it to us with your bill from the doctor.
Department Manager: Do we have to fax the original bill or can we just fax a copy?
Insurance Rep: Um…yes, it’s a fax.
3900 West Avera Drive
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Overheard by: AllGladHere
Peon: But if we didn’t buy it from them, will they provide service?
Boss: It doesn’t matter. This is an integral part of our everyday operation. If we have to buy a service contract, we will. If we give them money, they will service us.
550 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Project Leader: We are anticipating problems we haven’t anticipated before.
4820 150th Avenue NE
Redmond, Washington
Boss: Whoever thought shit and cinnamon smelled good together?
634 126th Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Boss: You can’t send this email out.
Peon: Why not?
Boss: It doesn’t make any sense. What’s this word here?
Peon: Hiatus.
Boss: That’s not even a word.
Peon: It means to take an extended break from work.
Boss: Look, if I don’t understand that, how do you expect anyone else to?
111 Pine Street
San Francisco, California
Boss: Make sure you tickle your calendar to remind you to do the reports.
Co-worker: Tickle?
Boss: Use the tickler system; you do know what a tickler is, don’t you?
Co-worker: Yes, but…you don’t use the one I know at work.
810 Highway 6 South
Houston, Texas
Boss: …in response to what you said–
Minion: What? I haven’t said anything.
Boss: Oh, sorry…I was having a conversation with you in my head.
16 E. 34th Street
New York, NY
