Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don't “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what's wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn't tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don't “sauce” me!
Northville, Michigan
Crazy female VP: So, who are you voting for in the election?
Unassuming employee: Obama.
Crazy female VP: Oh, really? I'm voting McCain.
Unassuming employee: Uh huh.
Crazy female VP: But, you know…I don't even see Obama as a black man.
Rockefeller Plaza
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Blonde Leading The Blind
Bizarre cube dweller: Cornmeal, hamocks, gunpowder, and guitar strings. I mix it up and just sit, pray, meditate, that sorta thing. I found a great place, too. The problem? Ethel don't want to. Given our natural proclivities, we'd be out raping and pillaging if it weren't for that stuff.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Man, to copier: There is paper in there! Stop being stupid! No, I will not add paper to tray four, I can tell you that right now. I will shoot someone before I add paper to tray four.
Berry College
Rome, Georgia
Loud office chick: Oh, I always used to eat paper! But not, like, toilet paper. Like, notebook paper.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
