Office girl: Yeah, so I couldn't keep my dog anymore, so my dad got rid of it.
Office guy: Really? Oh–did he get rid of it the bad way?
Office girl: He didn't eat it!
Office guy (shocked): Um… That's really not what I meant, but okay…
Toronto
Canadia
Worker bee: Well, there were enzymes in the ham costume…
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: busy like a bee
Co-worker #1: I do things my way because that’s what works best for me.
Co-worker #2: Huh?
1 Embarcadero Center
San Francisco, California
Woman in lift, noticing man cleaning doors: I can’t believe they clean a fucking elevator shaft, but it takes them a week to clean dried-up vomit in the foyer!
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Admin
New guy: What is everyone having to drink?
Older employee, trying to sound sophisticated: I think I'm going to go with a red wine. I heard the Merlot was good. I consider myself somewhat of a connoissaurus.
Office Retreat
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: I didn't hire her.
Telemarketing guy in retirement plan department, slamming down phone: She’s in 401(K) heat! Ugh!
1445 120th Avenue
Bellevue, Washington
Large lesbo on cell: What’s new with me? Oh, nothing too much. Oh wait — yeah, I got a new dog! Yeah, another one. Well, my neighbor was killed in a murder-suicide with her boyfriend, so the dog had post-traumatic stress disorder. Oh, it’s a Irish Settler. It’s pretty cute… A little overweight, though. Besides that, not too much. You know me — work, work, work.
Marriot Hotel Concierge VIP room
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Miguelito Morrison
Foreman: This must be a timer problem.
Electrician: Think so? Why?
Foreman: It happens all the time.
1050 Park Road South
Oshawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: william waite
Girl: So, I just had my exit interview with HR and they were all like, “Be honest, why did you just up and quit out of nowhere?”
Guy: Did you tell them the truth?
Girl: I told them that I was in love with you, and that the sexual tension and frustration was creating a poor work environment for me.
Guy: So then you did tell the truth.
Route 1 South
West Windsor, New Jersey
Coworker: I love that movie Dazed and Confused! It’s one of those that you don’t have to be smart to enjoy.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Jayce
