Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?
801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?
801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Humanitarian #1: If only the Superdome were in better shape.
Humanitarian #2: I’ve been in the Superdome and the Astrodome.
Humanitarian #1: The Astrodome? Is that the Astros?
Humanitarian #2: No.
Humanitarian #1: What’s the Astrodome?
Humanitarian #2: It’s where the Astros played.
Humanitarian #1: Where do they play now?
1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Director: Here’s the travel laptop I’m returning. Can you delete some of the files I put on there?
IT Manager: Yeah, sure, I’ll clean it out. I better not find any pubic hairs stuck in the keyboard.
1100 L Street NW
Washington, DC
Co-worker #1: What? You don’t contribute to your 401(k)?
Co-worker #2: No, but it’s my New Year’s resolution.
Co-worker #1: 2 words: free money! 2 words, a bunch of syllables: free money.
1615 H Street NW
Washington, DC
Coworker #1: He doesn't know? I know! How can he not know?
Coworker #2: You know?
Coworker #1: Well, I don't know… but I know.
Coworker #2: He doesn't know? You know but he doesn't know? Deep down inside he does know? it's such a puzzle!
Washington, DC
Co-worker: Can I move your long lovely legs and get some out of your drawers?
Co-worker: Do you ever have one of those days where you’re desperate to have something in your mouth?
Co-worker: I like sucking the mint out of the chocolate of Junior Mints…Don’t hate the skills!
750 First Street NE
Washington, DC
Coworker: You have a package on your desk.
Stressed-out boss: Is it ticking?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Worker: Here’s the envelope.
Boss: Did you know that the envelope is in the cantaloope family?
Worker: …
4400 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Coworker on phone: Listen, there’s a lot to be said for being punched in the face.
1020 19th Street NW
Washington DC
Overheard by: I just work here
Male coworker #1: Do you know anything about buying a prom dress?
Male coworker #2: Hell no.
Male coworker #1: Well, I need one pronto!
Washington, DC
