Sketchy guy in lunchroom, sitting down at table with lone coworker: I'll sit here with you. Y'know, I'm probably the only guy in the building who likes you.
Burlington, Vermont
Sketchy guy in lunchroom, sitting down at table with lone coworker: I'll sit here with you. Y'know, I'm probably the only guy in the building who likes you.
Burlington, Vermont
Managing editor to editor: The healthy one fell into the river, and the dead one scraped the side of the house.
Bennington, Vermont
Overheard by: proscriptus
Customer: You really should read The Man in the High Castle. it's a great book, one of Philip K. Dick's best.
Barista: I'll have to read it. I'm a big Dick fan.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Health inspector to commissioner: So you might be getting a call from this lady about making burgers out of beaver meat.
Secretary to health inspector: Have you ever eaten beaver?
Commissioner, as she walks away: You people can discuss this…
Department of Health
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Alfie
Vet on phone: He’s a little groggy now, but he should be one-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning.
Route 5
Norwich, Vermont
Overheard by: has two-eyed cats
Office grunt on phone: I absolutely agree… with myself!
1 Howard Street
Burlington, Vermont
Worker bee: As a child — as an infant — I was a projectile vomiter. Laying on my back, I could hit the ceiling! It’s too bad I can’t do that now.
402 Watertower Circle
Colchester, Vermont
Overheard by: Bastian
Student: If I put more stamps on it, will it go faster? My sister’s birthday is tomorrow.
Middlebury College Mail Center
Middlebury, Vermont
Overheard by: Disgruntled Mail Worker
Woman: … And then he bit my nipple so hard it started to bleed.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: not a deaf waitress
