Texas

Cube girl: Man, I'll be farting with you!

Corpus Christi, Texas

Girl to friend: Did I ever tell you that for like a year in high school I wore pantyhose everyday, even if I was wearing jeans, I'd have pantyhose underneath them.

Dallas, Texas

Boss, exiting a staff meeting: The internet was the greatest invention for the perverts. They're having a hay day!

Dallas, Texas

New airport paging/information clerk: Paging passenger Emerson Bigguns, passenger Emerson Bigguns. Please call airport information from the nearest white courtesy phone.
(pregnant pause) Fuck!

Airport
San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: YGBSM

Coworker: I didn't know there were two parts of Africa.

Bryan, Texas

Store manager: You don't want to get this bitter and angry from having this obsession over counting your holes!

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: it's true, I don't

Executive assistant: So I'm going to a different lab this time, so I don't get the bitchy Nazi titty tech.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: grabbed mine and kept on walking

Coworker #1 (looking in the mirror): Did you notice that I was wearing blue eyeshadow today?
Coworker #2: No, I didn't.
Coworker #1: Thought it would bring out my blue eyes, but it just makes me look like a whore…

Addison, Texas

Overheard by: emily

Tech dude #1: So I told him to stop putting dirt in my hole.
Tech dude #2: Uh…that makes me uncomfortable.

Dallas, Texas

Office worker: Leslie, before you leave, let me see if I have anything for you to sign.
Leslie: You know I'm signatorially challenged.

A&M University
College Station, Texas

Overheard by: Faith