Sales guy: I went to a funeral once, and everyone there got a packet of the cremated remains.
Sales girl: That’s a nice parting gift!
Sales guy: Well, we were all supposed to disperse them somewhere. Mine sat on my mantle for about a month. Then I finally threw it away.
Sales girl: You sent the person to the dump?! So wrong! So wrong!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Salesguy on phone: I got your nuts right here!!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Employee #1: So basically, I’m going to wear a shirt that says, ‘Ghouls Gone Wild’ on it.
Employee #2: You can’t do that! You have to dress slutty!
Sixforks and Strickland
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Heather
Coworker: Well, if she died beforehand, then nobody killed her — they just set the body on fire.
474 Industrial Park Drive
Boone, North Carolina
Technician: Man, I gotta go grab a smoke. I’ve been upstairs mixing chemo for hours!
427 Victor Street
Lincolnton, North Carolina
Overheard by: Suzette Truesdell
Hostess: I once gave everyone in my restaurant an Adderall. We had never been more efficient!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1, whispering: They’re firing Lily* on Friday!
Lily, standing behind coworker #1: Why!! What did I do!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Prof: Questions, comments, concerns, snide remarks, songs, poems, eloquent discourses on the topic of your choice? No? Good.
Economics Class, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Warehouse supervisor: Hey, I have to start having these bi-weekly meetings now…
Sales chick: Oh, that sounds like fun.
Warehouse supervisor: Tell me about it. Anyway, is there anything you can think of that I need to address? … Bi — that means every other week, right?
Sales chick: Um, yeah.
Warehouse supervisor: I just don’t like that word. Bi. It just sounds wrong.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
VP yelling into phone: If I have the whale, then I’m king! Everyone has to follow me!
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
