Woman on phone: So, the reason he can’t cum is because he virtually has no sperm count. No sperm at all. That’s such a relief!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rosie
Woman on phone: So, the reason he can’t cum is because he virtually has no sperm count. No sperm at all. That’s such a relief!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rosie
Giddy woman: You like alcohol, don’t you?
Not-So-Giddy woman: I like when everyone around me’s drunk. It makes my life easier.
Giddy woman: I like when I’m drunk. It makes my life easier.
10 Exchange Place
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3rd cubicle to the left
Male office peon: Do you have any magazines that are interesting and stimulating?
Female office peon (hiding Logistics Management magazine): You are not taking it to the bathroom.
Clifton, New Jersey
Overheard by: My magazines have sentimental value
Woman #1: Heard from your old high school boyfriend lately?
Woman #2: No. He’s traveling. Moving to Florida. Wife number three.
Woman #1: Would you nail him again?
Woman #2: In a heartbeat. Best in oral sex, hands down.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Makin’ Copies
Hairdresser: Oh, by the way, thanks for the tip about the Astroglide — it’s awesome! Client: Oh, you finally got some? And you love it?!
Hairdresser: Love it? I had to tell Paul* I saw an ad in Cosmo, or he’d know I was talking about our sex life at work.
Client: So, it’s cool, right? And doesn’t dry up, right?
Hairdresser: Listen, it makes him forget he’s a New York police officer — totally awesome!
Hillsdale, New Jersey
Overheard by: Receptionist
Coworker #1: Did you inhale?
Coworker #2: I never exhaled!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Employee, gasping: It’s that huge?
Supervisor: Yeah… But once you add water, it comes right off.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Girl: Auntie Dee*, how did you know Uncle Frank* was in there.
Auntie Dee: Well, Molly*, he’s not in the waiting room, so he has to be in there with the doctor.
Boy peering in window to exam rooms: He’s kissing that nurse like he knows her!
Doctor’s office
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patiently Waiting
Co-worker #1: Oh, I’m so glad you are here.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Because I got my hand stuck in the hole.
6 Campus Drive
Parsippany, New Jersey
Cube rat #1: Damn, you had braces for seven years and your teeth are still that fucked up?
Cube rat #2: Yeah? You’ve been on a diet for two years and your ass is still that fat?
Trenton, New Jersey
