How to Get Fired in Albuquerque

Boss: I can’t get this damn phone to work.
Coworker: It helps if you’re just a little bit smarter than the technology.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Posted on November 2, 2007
Advice, Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, General Idiocy, Gripes, Insults, Technology

And Devote Your Full Attention to It

Peon #1: Did you devote your full attention to this?
Peon #2: Bite me.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Posted on October 31, 2007
Comebacks, Coworkers, Insults, Questions, Wisconsin

… So I Think I’ll Vote for Obama Instead

Engineer: So, apparently she holds out her cell phone to people on the street and says, ‘This is my husband. Tell him he’s an asshole!’

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: thankfully unmarried

Posted on October 31, 2007
Canadia, Engineers, Gossip, Insults, Relationships

Just Sent Us Hatemail for Calling It “Canadia”

Male peon: So, where are you guys located, anyway?
Customer: We’re in Guyana.
Male peon: Oh, over in Africa, eh?
Black coworker, yelling from four cubicles over to male peon: Stan*, you’re an idiot!

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on October 23, 2007
Canadia, Coworkers, Insults

Um, She’s Thirty-Five.

CEO: Oh, that’s the guy with the gaggle of kids, right? The ugly ones.
Project coordinator: They’re not all ugly! The little one, Erica*, is cute!
CEO: She just hasn’t grown into her ugly yet.

Goderich, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on October 19, 2007
Bosses and Underlings, Canadia, Insults

You Always Manage to Live Down to My Expectations

Boss: You know, every day it gets harder and harder to underestimate you.

Innovation Drive
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin

Posted on October 18, 2007
Bosses and Underlings, Insults, Wisconsin

Slightly below That Monkey Who Typed Shakespeare

IT guy: There’s a spectrum between those who are completely illiterate and those who are completely literate, and the people who write the news are somewhere in-between.

Tonopah, Arizona

Overheard by: AndyDan

Posted on October 8, 2007
Arizona, Insults, Tech People

Did You Get the Package I Sent?

Girl answering phone: Hi.
Guy on speaker: Hey… What are you doing?
Girl: Nothing.
Guy: Don’t e-mail me today.
Girl: Why?
Guy: They are using my computer for a presentation.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: I don’t need them seeing ‘Eff you!’
Girl: Haha, I never put that in the subject line.
Guy: Right… Or ‘I eff-ing hate you… And I’m not joking.’
Girl: Hahaha, I haven’t said that in so long!
Guy: You texted that to me last night.
Girl: Oh. Hahaha. No, I said, ‘You better be dead… And I’m not even joking!’

Law office, Highway 10 and 403
Ontario
Canadia