Oh! Well, I'm a Bit Disappointed, I Must Say.

Maintenance guy: Do you have any holes?
Worker: What?
Maintenance guy: Do you have any big holes?
Worker: What?
Maintenance guy: You know, any big holes in the wall that need to be repaired.

Evansville, Indiana

Posted on March 13, 2009
Blue Collar, Body Parts, Employees, Indiana, Questions, Sexuality

Doesn't the Machine Know What I Want?

Coworker #1: Why does the copy machine keep printing out pages with lines on them?
Coworker #2: Because your original is on lined notebook paper.

Bloomington, Indiana

Posted on February 4, 2009
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Indiana, Internet, Questions, Technology

…Until I Can Finally Resolve the Question, “How Many Licks Does It Take?”

Flaming server: Gimme some tape to close this envelope: I don't lick nothin' that doesn't have a sailor attached.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indianapolis

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on January 15, 2009
Employees, Indiana, Sexuality, Weirdness

He Also Gets Distracted by Shiny Objects

HR to CEO: No retort needed, Timmy, the proof is in the pudding.
CEO: Mmmmm…pudding!

Lafayette, Indianapolis

Overheard by: Ag dEsigner

Posted on January 9, 2009
Executives, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Indiana, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality, Words

Looks Like Al Gore's Lost His Keys Again

Salesman: That guy from the internet is gonna call soon. I think he's in the internet right now or he'd call now.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on January 5, 2009
General Idiocy, Indiana, Internet, On the phone, Sales

That, and All the Erotic Pastry Sex.

Male coworker: What's up with everybody being sick right now?
Female coworker: Seriously! I was sick a few days ago and went to the walk-in clinic. The doctor gave me an antibiotic but I didn't take it. I gave it to my husband because he's sick too.
Male coworker: What do you mean you didn't take it? Why are you being non-compliant with treatment?
Female coworker: Well, this is probably TMI, but I can't take antibiotics. They give me yeast infections.

Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by:

Posted on December 26, 2008
Coworkers, Family, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, Questions

So How Great Is It to Be Back, Huh?

Employee, returning after a month away: Hey, you've lost weight!
Manager: Thanks! I've been…
Employee: No, wait, you just got your hair cut. Nevermind.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indianapolis

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on December 5, 2008
Bosses and Underlings, Diet & Weight, Indiana, Physical Appearance

Why She Makes Terrible Mashed Potatoes

Office manager to female coworker: It doesn't matter what it looks like, as long as it's hard.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Oh no she didn't

Posted on November 6, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, Indiana, Possible Sexual Harassment

And Rearranges Whatever's Left

Lady on phone: Well, you know…surgery really takes something out of you.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Bearphan

Posted on November 4, 2008
General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, On the phone

This, from a Guy Who Watches Extreme Makeover?

Young waitress, dreamily: My friends and I just love that Joran Van Der Sloot.
Manager: The fact that he's accused of murder doesn't phase you?
Waitress: Only makes him hotter! (sighs)
Waiter: The next time I say women are stupid and you argue with me, I'm bringing this up, you know.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on October 7, 2008
Bosses and Underlings, Coworkers, Crimes, General Idiocy, Indiana, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness