Executive assistant: Shit! Oh, wait, no. I take back my shit.
242 West 38th Street
New York, New York
Executive assistant: Shit! Oh, wait, no. I take back my shit.
242 West 38th Street
New York, New York
Girl: One stamp please. [Crusty mail lady puts Christmas stamp on envelope.] Oh, ummm, does it need to be that one? [Crusty mail lady shoots death rays with eyes.] But they’re Jewish! [More death rays.] But I’m asking them for a job! [Crusty mail lady rips off Christmas stamp and replaces with flower stamp.] Ummm…
Crusty mail lady: Fifty-one cents.
Post office
Michigan
Overheard by: Jen
Boss on phone with lawyer: Last year? What? I don’t remember last year. Hell, I hardly remember yesterday, let alone last year… Can’t we just make something up?
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
Supervisor: You were loud.
Underling: We were just talking.
Supervisor: You were screaming.
Underling: Well, we always scream.
550 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Scientist at desk to tech in lab: Just because you want to see hot firemen doesn’t mean you have to set off the alarm!
20925 Crossroads Circle
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Employee: Everything about my life sucks right now! I need to go home, and I need to have a shower, and I need to get laid by someone who knows what he’s doing for once, and then I need to go to bed.
Sackville
New Brunswick
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Office manager in transplant center, slamming down phone: How dare he call me about heart when I have liver all over my desk?!
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wendy Booz
Boss: You make too many mistakes! You’re not very consistent at your work.
Cube dweller: Well, you can’t be consistent all the time!
Liverpool
England
Trashy coworker: Don’t ya hate when you’re on the rag and your husband rolls over in the night with a boner, wantin’ to poke ya?
Franklin Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Violet White
