Male hippie #1 standing at printer with no paper: Aren’t you supposed to be watching this? What do I pay you for?
Male hippie #2: To shave my legs and wear the skirt.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: please no more
Male hippie #1 standing at printer with no paper: Aren’t you supposed to be watching this? What do I pay you for?
Male hippie #2: To shave my legs and wear the skirt.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: please no more
Crazy woman at front desk: I will not be a slave to my teeth!
1685 Main Street
Santa Monica, California
Secretary #1: Here, I’ll trade you dark chocolate for my chocolate.
Secretary #2: No, I like dark chocolate.
Secretary #1: Why does the white man have to take all the dark chocolate? That’s the last piece of dark chocolate, and I’m dark so I should eat it! You ate all the white chocolate last week because you’re white, and now you’re going to have all the dark chocolate, too, just like the white man does to everything!
Secretary #2, eating dark chocolate: It’s all mine now. Look at this! [Opens mouth.]Secretary #1, muttering to herself and walking away: Just like the white man…
11330 Pierce Street
Riverside, California
Overheard by: Kevin
Boss: There’s nothing like walking to put the newspapers behind the circulation desk and looking out towards the front and having the first thing you see be the word ‘penis.’
Library
Richmond, Virginia
Male coworker: All I hear is, ‘Yap, yap, yap, I’m cold, yap, yap, yap, I’m a woman.
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Erin
Librarian: Don’t use a potato chip as a bookmark!
Library
Overland Park, Kansas
Overheard by: Manager Guy
Executive assistant: Shit! Oh, wait, no. I take back my shit.
242 West 38th Street
New York, New York
Girl: One stamp please. [Crusty mail lady puts Christmas stamp on envelope.] Oh, ummm, does it need to be that one? [Crusty mail lady shoots death rays with eyes.] But they’re Jewish! [More death rays.] But I’m asking them for a job! [Crusty mail lady rips off Christmas stamp and replaces with flower stamp.] Ummm…
Crusty mail lady: Fifty-one cents.
Post office
Michigan
Overheard by: Jen
Boss on phone with lawyer: Last year? What? I don’t remember last year. Hell, I hardly remember yesterday, let alone last year… Can’t we just make something up?
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
