Office girl #1: Ohmigod, did you hear that Sam Ronson broke up with Lindsay Lohan?
Office girl #2: No. No! Where did you read that?
Awkward office guy, from across office: Aaaand this is why I'm better than you!
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Office drone #1: Did you see how Anderson completely took over the meeting? It was like a crudités.
Office drone #2: Wait… it was like celery sticks??
Office drone #3: I think he means a “coup d'état”
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Drunk Drama Queen
Manager: So, what are your hobbies? What do you do for fun?
Newbie: I like to breed.
1700 Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Septimus
Worker #1: I have to be up at 5AM tomorrow.
Worker #2: Oh? What are you doing?
Worker #1: I’m fifing in Connecticut.
29 Winter Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: scrapes
Medical scientist #1: You know, they’ve got sheep in the basement…
Medical scientist #2: Our basement?!
Medical scientist #1: Yeah. It’s for heart surgery experiments. They bring them up for MRIs at night.
Medical scientist #2: There are sheep using our MRI machines?!
Medical scientist #1: Well, they’re only small ones…
Hospital, Flemington Road
Parkville, Victoria
Australia
Boss: I’m not saying he’s a polygamist, but…
29th Street
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: mfk
Worker bee: It’s like he’s a totally different person. I’m not sure if it’s him or if he’s been taken over by aliens. I keep checking him for anal probes.
Denver, Colorado
Co-worker #1: What did that guy do? Why is he a prisoner?
Co-worker #2: I don’t know. I asked him, and all he said was, “It’s a long story.” Who knows? He’s probably a child molester or something.
Co-worker #3: Maybe he had sex with a horse or something.
Co-worker #1: I don’t know, I would think that would be a relatively short story. Like a one-liner.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Manager to another: Why don’t you take a seat on my commode? It’s fur-lined… It’s a special otter fur. The poop washes right off.
101 North 2nd Street
Harrisonburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Andréa Cecil
Student teacher: So, what is your school’s policy concerning sodas? Am I allowed to bring them as long as they are in an unmarked container?
Teacher: Yes, most definitely. Some of the other schools in the area have taken out their drink machines for teachers, but our principal’s a Coke addict.
4858 Lead Mine Road
Snowville, Virginia
