Cube monkey: My brain is unlike that of any mortal! It consists of witchcraft, spells, and ideas for pastries that the world has yet to see!
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Cube monkey: My brain is unlike that of any mortal! It consists of witchcraft, spells, and ideas for pastries that the world has yet to see!
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Coworker: Sometimes it amazes me just how much poop comes out of my body.
80 Broadway
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Orlando Furioso
Woman #1: Oh my god! My husband sent me three dozen roses for no reason!
Woman #2: Wow, someone really wants a blowjob.
Boss: Hey, you can’t say ‘blowjob’! We have young interns working here!
Woman #2: Are you serious? Those intern sluts give blowjobs in their sleep.
New Jersey
Drone #1: He’s got an ass so tight, you could bounce quarters off it.
Drone #2: Who, the new pope?
680 Route 202/206
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily
Assistant #1: So, what are you wearing to the party? You’ve been pretty secretive about it.
Assistant #2: Well, I’m wearing an old blue slip and a pair of pumps with mirrors on the heels.
Assistant #2: Nice.
Atlanta, Georgia
Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.
Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Fat black girl: My mom — she’s bein’ so damn nosy. Yesterday she says, ‘V, tell me something I don’t know about you!’
Fat white girl: So, what’d you say?
Fat black girl: I said, ‘I like it in the ass! That shit is wonderful.’
Fat white girl: Hahaha, oh my god. Wait, how is that her being nosy?
Fat black girl: Well, it’s what she get. She didn’t know it; now she does. Serve her right for askin’.
Clothing store, 4500 North Oracle Road
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: i just wanted to shop
Coworker #1: Oh, that sounded like a queef.
Coworker #2: I had a friend who could roll over and queef on command.
Coworker #1: Wow! That would be a great party trick.
Washington Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Woman on cell: Remember when she saw those two dead bodies? No, Denny is the tall one.
Merced Mall
Merced, California
Overheard by: I work there
Co-worker #1: So she is like, what, the second one pregnant?
Co-worker #2: Yes, you have to be careful drinking water around here.
Co-worker #1: Stop it! Stop it! Now I have to go take a pregnancy test!
1250 Broadway
New York, NY
