Suit #1: So, I heard they put you up at the Ritz in Seattle!
Suit #2: They did! I stayed there over the weekend. It was so nice…
Suit #1: Gangsta, son, gangsta.
Suit #2: That’s how I roll, homie.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Amused
Suit #1: So, I heard they put you up at the Ritz in Seattle!
Suit #2: They did! I stayed there over the weekend. It was so nice…
Suit #1: Gangsta, son, gangsta.
Suit #2: That’s how I roll, homie.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Amused
Coworker: You killed a squid. Don’t act like you took down a moose with a pencil sharpener.
16761 Via Del Campo Court
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Hal Aljibury
Woman on phone: No, he just goes with the flow. And she is his flow.
323 East Grand River
Howell, Michigan
Woman on phone: He gave me a book of his own poetry that he’d had published and everything! But he’s not a total fairy, though… He used to be an engineer.
Westmead
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: every3rdthought
Male colleague: Feeling any better?
Female colleague: Sort of.
Male colleague: Did you go make yourself throw up?
Female colleague: No, I can’t do that.
Male colleague: Oh, you’re one of those people. I can do it on command. I have a very weak sphincter.
530 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: ap
Security Guard #1: Man, but 8 times! That’s gotta hurt.
Security Guard #2: Can’t be much difference to taking 7 slugs.
Wharf 8, Murray Street
Pyrmont
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: spleenboy
HR clerk: He got so excited and he crapped all over himself.
Receptionist, laughing: Did Jim [manager] do that again?
Hr clerk: Uh, no, I was talking about my new puppy.
Receptionist: Oh, forget what I just said. Please forget! I was supposed to forget.
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Woman peon: David* always reminds me of Dr. Evil.
Man peon: Just because he is bald?
Woman peon: Well, his newborn son has no hair, either, and looks just like him. It’s just like Mini-Me. All he needs is a shaved cat.
Man peon: I never understood the shaved cat thing. What’s up with a shaved cat? Do you shave your cat?
Woman peon: No, I don’t have a cat. I have allergies.
Man peon: Really?
Landings Drive
Mountain View, California
Employee: That astronaut chick had to be totally nuts to put on a diaper and drive 13 hours to whack that other woman.
Boss: Well, astronauts do have to wear diapers in space. She probably had some around the house.
Employee: Oh? So it’s part of her culture.
Boss, laughing: When the cops finally caught her, she calmly said, ‘This was a bad idea.’
Employee: The gun or the diapers?
7 West 29th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Fabio
Assistant #1: Do you have any idea when the last time I threw up was?
Assistant #2: 1993? April?
Assistant #1: ’94, 12 years ago.
Assistant #2: Yeah, you told me already. I marked it in my calendar so I can put ipecac syrup in your coffee that day.
Assistant #1: I told my therapist that and he was floored
Assistant #2: My dad is like that too. He’s thrown up once since I’ve known him.
Assistant #1: Since you’ve known him? When were the two of you introduced?
Assistant #2: Since I came out of my mother.
Assistant #1: Hot.
800 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
