Telephone salesperson: May I please speak to Eric Smith*?
Receptionist: He doesn’t work here any more, can I take a message?
Telephone salesperson: No, that’s okay, I’ll call him back.
1270 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian
Telephone salesperson: May I please speak to Eric Smith*?
Receptionist: He doesn’t work here any more, can I take a message?
Telephone salesperson: No, that’s okay, I’ll call him back.
1270 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian
Customer: Do you sell cheeseburgers?
Jewelry store
Sydney
Australia
Coworker: Huh? Dude, I can’t hear you, you have your headphones in.
Cambridge, Maryland
Overheard by: Why oh why…?
Manager: You’ve already lied to me twice tonight!
Waiter, louder: But I didn’t know you knew I was lying!
Haynes Bridge Road
Alpharetta, Georgia
Phone rep #1: What’s that?! A cheeseburger without cheese?!
Phone rep #2: Yeah. It’s called a hamburger.
500 North Central Expressway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: amused coworker
Diner: Why is it that whenever ‘sour cream’ appears on your menu, it has an asterisk beside it?
Waiter, condescendingly: Because those dishes have sour cream in them.
800 Block, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Office chick: Is that an Islamic newspaper?
Office guy: It’s the Wall Street Journal.
15 East 26th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Erak
Manager: … So let him know that he has 60 cards here, and he’ll be charged for all 60. If he doesn’t want all 60 — say he only wants 50 — then take five away and bring those back.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alexis
Physics teacher: How thick do you think a steel pole would have to be that connected the Earth and the moon if there were no more gravity?
Student #1: 10 inches?
Student #2: Five miles?
Student #3: No, way bigger than that.
Physics teacher: It would be about the size of the state of New York.
Student #1: Damn.
Student #2: Ha! I was right!
Student #3: You think that New York is five miles across?!
Student #2: Okay, that’s more like Delaware-sized. Is Delaware even a state?
Staples High School
Westport, Connecticut
Assistant: I made the reservations for you. Give me a minute and I’ll get you the ballistics.
Boss: Ballistics?
Assistant: Yeah, the ballistics — your flight arrangements and your hotel confirmation. You know, the ballistics!
39th Street and 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: I can’t believe I hired her
