Worker bee: I love the smell of gasoline. I’d sniff gasoline all day long, if it wouldn’t, you know, kill you.
2000 East El Segundo Boulevard
El Segundo, California
Worker bee: I love the smell of gasoline. I’d sniff gasoline all day long, if it wouldn’t, you know, kill you.
2000 East El Segundo Boulevard
El Segundo, California
User: If you don’t turn my cell phone back on today, I’ll tell the families of my patients and their lawyers that you are responsible for the patient’s death, because I couldn’t be reached!
Call center operator: Sir, if you are expecting your patients to die, perhaps they should switch to a different physician…
310 W. Bakerview Road
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Josh Sinnett
Counter guy on phone: Where are you? What is that sound? … Oh! I knew it was a tornado!
Connecticut
Female coworker: I wish I was disabled.
Male coworker: What? Why?
Female coworker: ‘Cause then people would do things for you, like carry your stuff and get you things.
Male coworker: People do that for pretty people — why don’t you wish to be pretty?
910 Louisiana Avenue
Houston, Texas
Male peon: I was a pink My Little Pony for Halloween once.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Bossman: I think I’m going to switch my cell phone company. It looks like I can save some money with AT&T. I just want to make sure I can keep my number.
Co-worker: What if someone using AT&T already has the same number?
4156 Freedom Way
Weirton, West Virginia
Coworker, waving around a Stanley knife: I keep picking this up thinking it's a banana.
Sydney
Australia
[Dead of winter.]Supervisor: Oh my god -short sleeves! Why didn’t you wear your coat?
Employee: I looked out the window and it didn’t look cold outside.
Dallas Parkway
Addison, Texas
Co-worker #1: We should send out a memo about unsafe driving.
Boss: Was the unsafe driving on company property?
Co-worker #1: No.
Boss: Was the unsafe driving in a company vehicle?
Co-worker #1: No.
Co-worker #2: Then there’s nothing the company can do about it. I mean, I speed to work all of the time.
3 Alcan Highway
Kitimat, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nemisis
Customer: Is my pizza ready?
Cashier, yelling: Hey! Is this guy’s 12-inch out yet?
Manager, laughing: Did you just say that?!
Cashier, blushing: Oh! Oh my god!
Fort Hood, Texas
Overheard by: can I get one of those?
