11AM Project Assignments

HR #1: Why would anyone agree to take on more responsibility if we’re not going to pay them more?
HR #2: We’re giving them more projects to work on that will be more advanced than what they’re working on right now. I think people look for a challenge and they will be willing to take on more responsibility if it promises to be rewarding. Besides, most of them are in their twenties and need to start somewhere. So you see, we really are paying them more…in experience.
HR #1: Who is ever going to fall for that?

150 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Snoop E.

Posted on October 30, 2023
California, Human Resources, Lies, Money

12PM Final Party Prep

Boss on phone: All the invitations said black tie, so I bought a white shirt and a black tie and wore that.

8800 West Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Cpt. Rombone

Posted on October 27, 2023
California, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, On the phone, Physical Appearance

12PM Fire Drill

Assistant Building Emergency Coordinator: Why don’t we have the security officers make the evacuation announcements? They are located next to the building PA system.
Manager: I am not sure they are qualified and capable of using the microphone to make announcements.

600 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 20, 2023
Advice, Bosses and Underlings, California, General Idiocy

5PM I’m Rushing Home

Co-worker: Can you help me out here? I’ve got kind of a rush going on.
Underling: Sure, what can I help you with?
Co-Worker: Oh, wait. Hold on. I don’t mean “rush” like I’m doing a line of cocaine. I mean rush like I’m busy.

901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California

Posted on October 9, 2023
California, Coworkers, General Idiocy

4PM QA

Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.

8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California

Posted on October 6, 2023
California, Coworkers, Insults, Questions, Technology

5PM Luckily We Do…for Four Days!

Customer: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Vietnam?
Employee: Um…no?

2063 Camden Avenue
San Jose, California

Posted on September 18, 2023
California, Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Holidays

11AM Finalize Campaign

Marketer: There’s nothing sexy about turkey.
Writer: No.
Marketer: What about, “Need a way to keep from stuffing yourself? Go have an orgasm!”

8885 Venice Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Posted on September 14, 2023
California, Coworkers, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Writers and Editors

10AM Strategy Session

Project Engineer: We have relatively clear instructions, kind of.

4170 Santa Fe Road
San Luis Obispo, California

Posted on September 8, 2023
California, Engineers, Gripes

3PM At the Water Cooler

Peon #1: Those Jordanians are really teed off.
Peon #2: Is that even a word?

9115 Harris Corners Parkway
Charlotte, North Carolina

Boss: Did you hear about the terrorist attacks in Jordan?
Secretary: Um, yes; a suicide bomber killed hundreds of people at a wedding.
Boss: You see, you shouldn’t attend so many weddings. The odds are against you.

10550 North Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California

Posted on September 6, 2023
Bosses and Underlings, California, Coworkers, Death, General Idiocy, North Carolina, Receptionists, Violence

2PM Call About Rewiring

Suit: Um, you have some sort of foreign object in your hair.
Electrician: Yeah, they threw confetti at me at the last office.

111 West Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California

Posted on August 23, 2023
Blue Collar, California, Physical Appearance, Suits