Manager: Why are you sending me comps at 1:30 in the morning?
Designer: Because I wanted to work on them at home, and then when I was home I couldn’t work on them until Loveline was on the air and I could listen to some relationship advice at the same time.
Manager: Oh, that makes perfect sense.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Exec: Who made a mess over here by the shredder?
Assistant: I was throwing confetti at myself.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Worker: If you see [Jen] or [Jake], can you tell them I need to talk to them?
Boss: What for?
Worker: I just need to ask them about this thing for Thursday.
Boss: Oh, I don’t know anything about that. You’ll have to ask [Jen] or [Jen] about it.
120 West First Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Manager: [Ben], just go ahead and reserve two spots for me.
Assistant #1: Did you just say [Jeffrey]?
Manager: What? No, I said [Ben].
Assistant #1: Well, I heard my name.
Manager: ‘Cause youre a narcissist! [Ben], don’t you think he’s a
narcissist?
Assistant #2: I plead the Fifth.
Manager: C’mon [Ben], don’t be a pussy!
Assistant #2: I’m going to be a pussy! I’m new!
270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Boss: We’re having communication problems.
Underling: We are?
Boss: What?
18115 Campus Way NE
Bothell, Washington
Overheard by: cogalicious
Secretary: I can write memos like it’s my job.
Boss: That is your job.
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
Department Head: So, can we update your job description tomorrow morning?
Employee: No, I have a color correction session to attend.
Department Head: Well, I notice you don’t take lunch. You’re usually at your desk. What about then?
Employee: I do take lunch. I just eat at my desk and read a book or something.
Department Head: Well, how about doing something more productive with that time? Do you want to meet then?
Employee: No.
6423 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Manager: You brought in cake and didn’t include me in the e-mail?
Co-worker: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I got everyone.
Manager: Bitch.
260 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: briarose
Boss: Where the fuck is my breakfast? Why hasn’t it been delivered yet? I’m not even hungry anymore, I could have raised my own fucking chicken for the eggs and planted my own fucking orange tree by now.
Worker: You didn’t order anything with eggs.
135 West 36th Street
New York, NY
Manager: Does anyone have a vanilla folder?
Underling: A what?
Manager: A vanilla folder?
Underling: A what?
Manager: A vuh-nil-uh folder!
Underling: Sorry, I only have chocolate.
508 Carroll Street
Fort Worth, Texas
