Office peon: How many wheels does an 18-wheeler have?
Boss: Let me see your résumé again.
1212 Klockner Road
Gordonsville, Virginia
Overheard by: the office linebacker
Office peon: How many wheels does an 18-wheeler have?
Boss: Let me see your résumé again.
1212 Klockner Road
Gordonsville, Virginia
Overheard by: the office linebacker
Programming #1: I totally didn’t realize he was holding a bong.
Programming #2: That explains why the smores thing was funny.
11951 Freedom Drive
Reston, Virginia
Coworker on phone: Just wear your own clothes.
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: DC Diva
Server girl (about black guy in pink shirt): Wow, look at that pink shirt that guy's wearing!
Server boy: What about it? I think it looks kinda cool.
Server girl: But who would wear that?
Server boy: That guy obviously.
Server girl: Okay, you're right, it's okay on him…but on a person?
Server boy: That's fucked up.
Restaurant
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: server thenn, idiot now
Man referring to stuffed beaver’s tail with ‘Do not touch’ sign: Can my daughter touch this?
Worker: No.
Man to daughter: You can’t touch it, honey, because Miss Sensory Deprivation over here wants you to touch with your eyes, not with your hands.
Sterling, Virginia
Concerned lady coworker: How is Ellen*? Did she find a new job yet?
Ellen’s boyfriend: No, she hasn’t even looked. Her self-esteem is really bad right now.
Concerned lady coworker: Awww — you have to tell her she’s beautiful every day.
Ellen’s boyfriend: No! I can’t do it. I won’t do it!
Concerned lady coworker: Come on, lie to her. I’m sure you’ve lied to women before.
11442 West Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Female coworker: That's it. I'm going to the store and get some tampons. I'm tired of stuffing toilet paper in me.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Office drone #1: I see you've got a machete.
Office drone #2, wistfully: Who doesn't, in this workaday world?
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Stunned into silence
Cube rat #1: Just buy your damn cereal! Order it and it'll be here in days.
Cube rat #2: And the Honey Bunches of Oats truck is right across the street.
Cube rat #3: I'm just too lazy to even go down there.
Cube rat #1: I have Raisin Bran and Corn Pops at home.
Cube rat #3: I haven't had pops in literally five years.
Cube rat #1, angrily: What?
Cube rat #3: I have nothing against the pops. I just haven't had them.
Cube rat #2: Gotta have my pops.
Cube rat #1, singing: Pops are money!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Worker, entering building and chuckling: I already wiped ya clean one time!
Chesapeake, Virginia
