Secretary to irate victim on the phone: Well, ma'am, perhaps it would help if you could remember the name of the prosecutor who handled your case…
Irate victim: Well… I don't remember his name, but I can tell you he was the meanest son of a bitch in that office!
Secretary, sighing: Ma'am, I'm afraid you're going to have to be much more specific than that.
Virginia
Overheard by: Nice Little Lemur Girl
Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.
1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia
Middle-aged female suit: Yeah, that place has pretty good sandwiches. Plus, there's someone there I want to fuck.
Colonial Place Office Building
Arlington, Virginia
85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?
Hotel
Dulles, Virginia
Overheard by: Rather Disgusted
Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: I’m looking for a red wine.
Employee: Cabernet, pinot noir, shiraz?
Customer: No, I want a red wine.
1017 East Main Street
Radford, Virginia
Associate: You need something?
Woman: Yeah, maybe you know. Which are the nails they used to crucify Christ with?
Associate: … Uh, maybe these?
Woman: Right. I don’t think those are the ones I’m looking for, but you’re on the right track.
Home Depot
Virginia
Overheard by: Sara
Male peon muttering to self: Hey, brain — work! Please work? At least for the next two hours!
Female peon: Are you talking to your brain?
Male peon: Yeah, I’m trying to get it to work.
Female peon: Oh.
8133 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Employee #1: Ok, I’m taking breakfast orders for the meeting, what do you guys want?
Employee #2: Ummm, I’ll have the western omelette.
Employee #1: Ok.
Employee #2: Oh, wait…are there eggs in that?
Employee #1: Uh, yeah!
Employee #2: Okay then!
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: You’ve got to be kidding
President of law firm: Well, in these tough economic times, it's great to know that there's a billable lining to every dark cloud.
Richmond, Virginia
Fat manager: I'm sweating Diet Coke and doughnuts.
Charlottesville, Virginia
