Teller #1: That person smelled so bad… I thought I had stepped in poop and then I didn't see poop so I thought I was pooping and I checked!
Teller #2: What would you have done if you pulled your hand back and there was poop all over it?!
Teller #1: I ain't know, I was gonna cross that bridge when I got to it, okay?
Charleston, South Carolina
Office drone to another: I just put it in my mouth thinking it was sweet, started sucking on it and it keeps getting hotter.
Department of Commerce
South Carolina
Hostess: How about a bumblebee?
Server: He was asking about kinds of birds, not bugs.
Hostess: Same difference.
Server: Lots of things fly that aren't birds, like bats.
Hostess: Bats are birds.
Server: Bats are mammals!
Hostess: Birds are mammals.
Server, apoplectic: Birds are birds!
Restaurant
Charleston, South Carolina
Office drone #1: That's the thing about chicken, you never get tired of it.
Office drone #2: Well, some people do.
Office drone #1: Yeah, I do.
Charleston, South Carolina
Guy: I know the Isaacs lab has been using something of ours…
Girl: Yeah, they've been using our donkey!
Charleston, South Carolina
Suit about to walk through a revolving door: It's like a maze!
Charleston, South Carolina
Manager to VP: Yep, that Chinese porn will get you every time!
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Roman
Hypersensitive woman: Tacos are a great idea. We'll definitely need a lot of ground beef, but we should also have a vegetarian option, like ground turkey.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tuff Bandito
Medical assistant trying to make appointment for patient: Tell me something — why is the Gastrology office always so backed up?
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Male peon eating peanuts, to lady peon: Do you mind if I put my nut dust in your can?
South Carolina
Overheard by: peachy girl
