Employee sitting at lunch table: Dude, this pepper shaker does not fuck around. It is amazing.
Portland, Oregon
Employee sitting at lunch table: Dude, this pepper shaker does not fuck around. It is amazing.
Portland, Oregon
Agent #1: Why is that dog wearing a “W” on its head?
Agent #2: That’s not a “W”; it’s obviously an “M.” It’s just upside down.
Bystander: Um…those are reindeer antlers.
7145 SE 21st Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Customer: I left something in a cab and I would pay very well to get it back.
Dispatcher: Sure, I just need to know the description of the item to see if it's been returned.
Customer: Umm, I'd rather not explain.
Dispatcher: Well, how do I find it? It can't be that bad.
Customer: Well, it's a brown bag. Has anyone turned in a brown bag?
Dispatcher: Not that I'm aware of. Look, do you know the cab number?
Customer: No, but I think it was one of your cabs.
Dispatcher: You think? Did you catch a name? Know anything about the driver?
Customer: He was foreign, like, Middle Eastern. I think his name was Ali.
Dispatcher: Seriously?
Burnside Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Harassed Dispatcher
Male peon: Oh, I love this song!
Lady peon: Really, what is it?
Male peon: Uh… Music…
178 Middle Street
Portland, Oregon
Man: I talked to John. He said he and Michelle got divorced less than a year after they were married. I really didn’t like her anyway. She was really bullheaded.
Woman: Oh. That’s too bad.
Man: Yeah, they just got divorced, but he’s doing well. He just adopted a seventeen-year-old girl. It’s helping to distract him.
Woman: Huh?
University of Oregon
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: Reed
Employee: I have a problem and don’t know what to do.
Manager: What is the problem?
Employee: The toliet paper is missing, and I don’t know what to do.
1850 14th Avenue SE
Albany, Oregon
New coworker: My name's Dave* and my eccentricity is I like everything in paper, not plastic.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: dying a slow death here
Office lady: Is someone moving furniture upstairs?
Cubicle guy: I think Mark* just farted.
Mark*: Excuse me…
Portland, Oregon
40-something coworker: I have a headache. I need a meat sandwich.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Maybe you should post on Craigslist
