Office assistant: I can take 'em in my mouth all day long, but not in my body.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Seven-year-old daughter on speakerphone: I saw a cute mother-daughter necklace at the store. It said “if daughters were flowers I'd still pick you.” See, mom? I'm like a flower! I smell sweet!
Mother: Yeah, and when you die, I'll throw you away.

Pryor, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Danielle

Chelsea's* boss, pointing to a 3-foot tall box: So Chelsea*, want some condoms?
Chelsea*, indignant: I don't need any!
(client laughs)
Boss: Chelsea*! Not you! For the clients!
Chelsea*: Oh sure! For the clients, yeah.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Sales assistant on phone: What? I thought you were a boy. Well, as long as they don’t match.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: what?

Guy #1: I was talking to Megan the other day. She is pretty cool.
Guy #2: Yeah, she is, but man, she is really bulimic.
Guy #3: Bulimic? What does that mean? Does that mean she’s deaf?

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: T

Worker: I need you to pick up one of my kids, since you're already out there.
Peon: Why? What happened?
Worker: She missed the bus…again. Oh, wait, it gets better. It was the short bus. How do you miss the freaking short bus? It waits for you! The cherry on top of the sundae is that this is the second time it's happened.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Coworker to another: That guy walking down the street looks like my brother's baby's mama's other baby's daddy.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Boss: Yours is bigger than mine!
Large notebook owner: I'm just lucky I guess.
Coworker: You get what you're given.
Boss: When you're pure like me you just walk into those jokes.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Beth

Coworker on phone: You live in the country, they were there first! If you didn’t want any animals you should have lived in the city!

333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: fransen comes alive

Office girl #1: She's in heat, so she's all swollen, and Bostons get gross swollen.
Boss: That's probably why she was running around town.
Office girl #2: I thought it was only males that run off when they're horny?
Boss: Nah, girls are whores, too.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: freudian flip