Oklahoma

Nurse: People just keep calling me and calling me about getting pain pills called in. They just need to be a little sauced up — then they’d be fine!

14100 Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Boss: Never put two cranky diabetics in the same room together. All you’ll get is ‘”fuck this,” “shit this,” and “blood sugar that!”

1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: shaun

Male employee, leaving bathroom: Be careful in there. I just gave birth to a little brown man!

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Gagging Uncontrollably

Coworker: I love that movie Dazed and Confused! It’s one of those that you don’t have to be smart to enjoy.

1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Jayce

Co-worker #1: Did you just say you asked the location to give the
customer a little ass?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, ass…ya know, assistance.
Co-worker #1: Um…once again…ass is not the abbreviation for
assistance.
Boss: What’s going on?

5330 E. 31st Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Peon #1: Hey, boss, there is a water leak up on the second floor.
Boss: Well, let's get up there and check it out.
Peon #2: So there's a leak in the roof, huh?
Peon #1: Yeah, but the good thing is: it only leaks when it rains!

Elk City, Oklahoma

Office assistant: I can take 'em in my mouth all day long, but not in my body.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Seven-year-old daughter on speakerphone: I saw a cute mother-daughter necklace at the store. It said “if daughters were flowers I'd still pick you.” See, mom? I'm like a flower! I smell sweet!
Mother: Yeah, and when you die, I'll throw you away.

Pryor, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Danielle

Chelsea's* boss, pointing to a 3-foot tall box: So Chelsea*, want some condoms?
Chelsea*, indignant: I don't need any!
(client laughs)
Boss: Chelsea*! Not you! For the clients!
Chelsea*: Oh sure! For the clients, yeah.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Sales assistant on phone: What? I thought you were a boy. Well, as long as they don’t match.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: what?