Loud office chick: Oh, I always used to eat paper! But not, like, toilet paper. Like, notebook paper.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Loud office chick: Oh, I always used to eat paper! But not, like, toilet paper. Like, notebook paper.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Coworker, explaining Band-Aid inside his elbow: Dracula got me.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Elegant old lady, as waiter comes around: … I could say the same thing about S&M, but no. There’s nothing wrong with S&M! [Waiter looks at her, aghast, and then starts laughing.] Oh… Um, I’ll have the hazelnut gelato.
Elegant old male companion: And don’t forget the whip!
Cafe Dante, MacDougal Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Me
Boss: The body bags take up a lot of room.
West 26th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: P
IT manager: You know, every application needs a command like that: ‘File, just do it.’
West 3rd Street
New York, New York
Customer: Do you carry mattresses? [Sales woman looks confused.] Mattresses… Beds… Can you tell me where those are?
Sales woman, pointing at elevators: Oh, yes, right over there.
Customer, speaking slowly: No, I said, ‘Where are the mattresses?’ The beds… What floor?
Sales woman: Oh, I don’t think we carry those. I thought you said ‘elevator.’
Department store, Paramus Mall
Nyack, New York
Overheard by: RobynPuff79
General manager: He had ‘Shaving Ryan’s Privates’ on his résumé.
242 West 36th Street
New York, New York
Proofreader: Joe*, I’m confused.
Typesetter: Are you? That’s perfectly normal.
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
Suit: You know, this whole process is like making out with your cousin.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Worker lady: I told him, ‘You’re not going to get the whole thing in — I have a small mouth and a gag problem.’
343 State Street
Rochester, New York
