Exec: Who made a mess over here by the shredder?
Assistant: I was throwing confetti at myself.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Exec: Who made a mess over here by the shredder?
Assistant: I was throwing confetti at myself.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Manager: [Ben], just go ahead and reserve two spots for me.
Assistant #1: Did you just say [Jeffrey]?
Manager: What? No, I said [Ben].
Assistant #1: Well, I heard my name.
Manager: ‘Cause youre a narcissist! [Ben], don’t you think he’s a
narcissist?
Assistant #2: I plead the Fifth.
Manager: C’mon [Ben], don’t be a pussy!
Assistant #2: I’m going to be a pussy! I’m new!
270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Do you guys know anybody with bad teeth?
Co-worker #2: I have pretty bad teeth.
Co-worker #1: No, somebody young.
Co-worker #2: So I have bad teeth and I’m old?
Co-worker #1: No, it’s for an anti-meth advertisement.
Co-worker #2: Well, I know people with bad teeth, but they’re all meth-heads.
78 Clinton Street
New York, NY
Manager: You brought in cake and didn’t include me in the e-mail?
Co-worker: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I got everyone.
Manager: Bitch.
260 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: briarose
Receptionist: And how are we feeling this morning?
Patient: Yeah, yeah! Here’s my co-payment.
15 West 39th Street
New York, NY
Intern: You’re just going to have to hold it while I push down on it. You hold still and I’ll push. Ugh. It’s too big. It just won’t fit.
1450 Broadway
New York, NY
Cubicle #1: I just realized Monday is your birthday. You’ll be…28?
Cubicle #2: Yeah. You know, ten years ago I thought I’d be all married with kids by now. Living in Red Bank or Cheesequake or something.
Cubicle #1: Wow, thank god none of that came true.
Cubicle #2: I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Boss: Where the fuck is my breakfast? Why hasn’t it been delivered yet? I’m not even hungry anymore, I could have raised my own fucking chicken for the eggs and planted my own fucking orange tree by now.
Worker: You didn’t order anything with eggs.
135 West 36th Street
New York, NY
Nursing Aide: What do I do?
CSR: Just fill out the brown application.
Nursing Aide: Okay, I filled out my name, but where do I put my address?
CSR: No ma’am, the brown application. That is a calendar.
99 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: praying I don’t need medical attention
Urinal #1: I am going home for the day. Take care, you have a good one.
Urinal #2: Thanks; I didn’t even know you were looking.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
