Baby mama to friend: These little boy clothes is so cute! If I have a boy I am going to name him D’jon, ’cause I love mustard!
Baby Gap
Towson, Maryland
Baby mama to friend: These little boy clothes is so cute! If I have a boy I am going to name him D’jon, ’cause I love mustard!
Baby Gap
Towson, Maryland
Flunky #1: She’s trying to hire a secretary. She said she wants someone to get here early in the morning and unlock her office door before she gets here, so she’ll be able to just walk in.
Flunky #2: So…who’s going to wipe her ass?
525 East 68th Street
New York, NY
Excited employee to boss: … And then I punched the raccoon…
Lumber yard office
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: Michael
Lady peon: Beautiful day, isn’t it?
Male peon: Sure is — some fine weather here.
Lady peon: I hope it lasts, but I don’t know about this weekend — I’ve heard it might get cool.
Male peon: Yeah, that must be hard for women.
Lady peon: What?
Male peon: Yeah, it must hard trying to figure out what to wear — shorts, skorts, capris, pants, skirts. Guys don’t have that problem.
Lady peon: Okay. You have a good day.
Geneseo, New York
Coworker on phone: Granny was outside talkin’ with the crack fiend. I was like, ‘Granny, get away from that crack fiend!’
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: katie
Boss: Have you seen Tina today?
Loudmouth: Yeah, at 1 am, passed out in the shrubbery!
DeKalb, Illinois
Overheard by: also hungover
Peon: It still wouldn’t look like soup to me, even if the dog was swirly.
143 South Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Secretary: I gotta shit… I mean, I gotta check my e-mail.
900 N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: say what?
Accountant: It was my son’s first day of second grade, and it took him two hours to do his homework.
Sales rep: Awww, poor guy. What kind of homework?
Accountant: It was a word search…
Sales rep: [Silence.]Accountant: But he’s not stupid or anything.
2100 Lafayette Street
Louisiana
Co-worker #1: Looks like [Sara] broke her foot.
Co-worker #2: I think her footbones just buckled under the pressure.
1939 Dixie Highway
Fort Wright, Kentucky
