Worker #1: Oh, didn’t I tell you I’m moving to Colorado?
Worker #2: Really? When?
Worker #1: I leave next week, but I decided I would move to Colorado when I was six. That’s when I heard John Denver sing “Rocky Mountain High.”
Worker #2: That’s why you’re moving to Colorado?
Worker #1: Well, and because it’s so hot here because of all the global warming going on. You know, they don’t have that in Colorado.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Overheard by: she actually is moving
New girl: Why is the door to the file room always locked?
Veteran: Because someone might steal something.
New girl: Who all has a key?
Veteran: Everybody.
Columbia University
New York, New York
Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.
Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Fat nurse: I’m real excited! I’m going to the Mexican Riviera next month.
Lanky nurse: Uh, isn’t it called the French Riviera?
Fat nurse: No, I think it’s Mexican, but you could be right — that sounds familiar.
Lanky nurse: I’ve always wanted to see the French Riviera.
Fat nurse: Yeah, me too. I can’t wait.
1st Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: dr mike
Worker, rushing into boss's office: Guess what I just got the kids for Christmas! It's hand sanitizer for kids and it's called “cooter killer.”
Boss: (stares)
Worker: I mean, “cootie killer”!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Coworker: I just love paying bills online — it is just so easy.
Blonde coworker: I know, it’s so great.
Coworker: The computer has really made things efficient.
Blonde coworker: I know — it is, like, sooo Antarctic to pay your bills by check nowadays.
30th floor, 55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Greg Case
Ad rep running to office for Post-Its: I need my stickies, I need my stickies, I need my stickies! I get nervous without my stickies…
Texas
Overheard by: it’s a good thing she’s pretty
Guy: So it turned out my phone wasn’t broken. It was just nobody wanted to call me.
Filton Road
Bristol, England
Overheard by: Rich
Worker #1: …True dat, dawg.
Worker #2: I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are white.
1400 Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Employee: Hey, I have an open hour today. Is there anything you need?
Supervisor #1: Um, yeah. One of the ceiling tiles broke, and they don’t make that type anymore, and in order to get an estimate redoing all the ceiling tiles, I need you to go around and count them.
Supervisor #2: Yeah…but in the corners: you know how they aren’t full tiles? You need to measure them and figure out what percentage of a full tile it is. You know, so we can get an accurate assessment.
30 minutes go by.
Supervisor #1: Are you seriously counting all of those tiles?
Employee: Yeah, why? Oh, man. Fuck you guys.
11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Bronxie
