CSR: Thank you for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Customer: I’m calling about my bill.
CSR: OK, which bill are you calling about?
Customer: The one I received.
3445 North M-291 Highway
Independence, Missouri
CSR: Thank you for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Customer: I’m calling about my bill.
CSR: OK, which bill are you calling about?
Customer: The one I received.
3445 North M-291 Highway
Independence, Missouri
IT manager on phone: You’re right, ma’am. Yes, that is entirely our fault. We should have explained that you’ll need to have a computer to teach a course online.
Denver Tech Center
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: rev_matt
Caller: That’s ‘A’ as in ‘elbow’…
400 Main Street
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Bewildered
CSR: Customer Service, this is Sheri*. May I have your account number please?
Customer: Why is my account negative?!
CSR: Well, if you give me your account number, I can look it up and go over your transactions with you.
Customer gives information, CSR verifies, and the conversation continues.
CSR: Well, ma’am, looks like your opening deposit on Tuesday was 25 dollars… And then you withdrew 40 dollars from the ATM on Friday.
Customer: And…?
CSR: Well, 25 dollars minus 40 dollars is negative 15 dollars.
Customer: I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Customer's spawn: I hope we get change so I can get the pennies with Lincoln on them!
Bagger: Dude… All pennies have Lincoln on them.
Medina, Ohio
Overheard by: Foxtrot
Employee: Thanks for calling iTransact, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to cancel my account, please.
Employee: No problem, sir. Can I have your name, please?
Customer: Yes, it’s ‘Frank.’ That’s ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ R-A-N-K.
Farmington, Utah
Yuppie mom on cell: I mean, I swear — America is turning into, like, old-school Russia. You know, with like, the Gazpacho running around killing people.
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Deadly and Delicious
Assistant #1: Did you know that one of the ingredients in gum is coyote urine?
Assistant #2: Did you know that there’s something in cat urine that causes schizophrenia?
Buckhead Loop
Atlanta, Georgia
Waitress to customer: Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: We've never been to Moab before, so we don't know what we want to drink.
Restaurant
Moab, Utah
Male: No, I'm sure it said “buffalo mozzarella.”
Female #1: Well, I know mozzarella is made from cow's milk.
Male: Maybe it's from Buffalo, NY.
Female #1: Is that where mozzarella is from?
Male: Maybe.
Female #2: Is goat cheese made from goats?
Waitress: No, usually from the milk.
Seattle, Washington
