(Whisper, Whisper) You Mean Those Yellow People Live Here Now?!

Peon, with Asian friend: Boss, I’d like to introduce you to my friend from Charlotte, Amy*. She’s stayin’ out here with me for a few days, then heading back home.
Boss: Nice to meet you! Where are you from?
Amy: Charlotte, North Carolina.
Boss: How long have you lived there?
Amy: I was born there — 25 years now.
Boss: Wow! How do you like it?
Amy: Like what?
Boss: America!
Amy: I, uh… I like it?
Boss: Do you think you’ll ever go back?
Amy: Yeah, I leave Sunday.
Boss: Wow! Well, I hope you enjoyed your American vacation!

Office party
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Jesse

Posted on November 8, 2017
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Tennessee

Why the Germans Were Lost When the Berlin Wall Came Down

Boss #1: Most of our people in philanthropy are on coke… They get the work done, but the meetings are like coke conventions.
Boss #2: I had an ex-girlfriend who was always on a lot of coke. I didn’t know it, though. I thought she just had a lot of energy. Once, when she was really high, I had to throw her against a wall to snap her out of it.
Boss #1: Well, that’s what you have to do sometimes.

Miami, Florida

Posted on August 18, 2017
Dumb Bosses, Florida, Violence

11AM System Implementation Meeting

Boss: It’s not so much fast-paced as it is boring.

2700 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York

Posted on August 15, 2017
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, New York

When 80s Nostalgia Goes Horribly Awry

Coworker: Is that a copy of Ted Nugent’s new book?
Boss: It is. He and his wife wrote it. Grill It and Kill It.
Coworker: Is that him on the cover? With his wife?
Boss: Yeah. She’s hot, isn’t she?
Coworker: She really is. Way to go, Nuge.
Boss: He must have started seeing her when he was in Damn Yankees. What was their song?
Coworker: “Can you take me high enough…”
Boss: Yeah. Those really were the days.

249 West 17th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Will Leitch

Posted on June 13, 2017
Dumb Bosses, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Gossip, New York

It Clearly Works Differently For Managers

Manager: So you’re saying that evolution works different for hobos? Okay, so as hobos get further away from the equator they become more evolved.

15 LC
Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: TheChris

Posted on May 15, 2017
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Iowa

Welcome to The Office

Boss: From now on, people, we’re going to make Perfection our baseline.

The development team laughs.

Developer: Dude, whatever the fuck you’ve been reading, stop it.

1 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Mad William Flint

Posted on March 1, 2017
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, New York, Tech People, Words

Which Means You Have to Want to

Assistant: Is this poster going to be mandatory?
Manager: We’re going to treat this as being required, but not mandatory.

227 W. Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Caleb Yarian

Posted on January 27, 2017
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Illinois, Offers and requests, Questions, Receptionists

10AM Department Meeting

Boss: This is not an interactive meeting, so no feedback of any kind. Every customer who gives a commitment today will get a $350 Home Depot giftcard. This is only until the end of business today.
Loan Officer: But I got a customer commitment yesterday. Can I tell her that we will send her one?
Boss: Didn’t I just say that this meeting is not interactive? I won’t answer your stupid questions.
Loan Office: …So what’s the answer?

The boss storms out.

Loan Officer: I’ll just ask him later.

2700 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York