Owner: Oh shit. I just spilled tequila on the church fliers.
Jonesboro, Arizona
Overheard by: Mark Knight
Male vp: When I come back, I want to be a woman… But a lesbian woman. That or a bug so I can get squished fast. I'd want to be a lesbian woman, cause guys are gross.
Cube dweller: …
400 6th, Portland, OR
Nasty old lady: I ordered an ipad mini with wifi. I just have to call up the cable company and tell them to turn on the wifi in my house. I don't think I signed up for that.
Coworker: Just have your son come over and help you.
East Crescent Ave, Ramsey, NJ
Overheard by: Is her son a wifi hotspot?
Boss to underling: I'm not rubbing it in, I'm rubbing it out.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Assistant: I went to the grocery store this past weekend. Do you know my kids drank five two-liters of Pepsi since then? Three and a half kids drank five bottles of Pepsi.
Sales guy: What’d you do with the other half a kid? … That must have been awful!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Male coworker, on phone: The ball is in your court, son! Don't double dribble.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Birthday cake passer outer: Hey, don’t you want a fork?
Old, creepy IT guy: No, I’ll just finger it.
Highwoods Parkway
Glen Allen, Virginia
Overheard by: Not even surprised
Recruiter: Oh, I can see why you applied for my Head of Sales role, considering you work in the warehouse at K-Mart.
Sydney
Australia
Employee, whispering about large customer entering: She’d like an additional chin…
7 Mile Road
Michigan
Supervisor on cell with husband: Yes, telling them that the bra in your closet came from someone in the wedding party was a good coverup. Everyone knows that isn't MY bra.
Kinder, Louisiana
