Drone #1: Why can't you make it?
Drone #2: I can't, Tuesday is my “Mr mom” night, my wife will kill me.
Drone #1: Well, is she Jewish?
Drone #2: No, she's German. I'm afraid of her.
Fairfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Silent Witness
Drone #1: Why can't you make it?
Drone #2: I can't, Tuesday is my “Mr mom” night, my wife will kill me.
Drone #1: Well, is she Jewish?
Drone #2: No, she's German. I'm afraid of her.
Fairfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Silent Witness
Woman: Do you still have the coconut mocha…?
Starbucks barista, interrupting: Coca mochanut…
Woman: Coconut mocha frappuchino?
Beaverton, Oregon
Frumpy lady to frumpier colleague: Yeah, you really can't look sexy in winter clothes.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: GG
Receptionist: You know, this is not the first time you’ve offered to lick my eye.
Assistant: I don’t doubt the validity of that statement.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: weeelll….hmm.
Customer: So where do you live?
AT&T employee: I've got family in Peru and some family in Brazil.
Customer: Oh, wow! So, do you have a wife?
AT&T employee: Yes, she's in Brazil.
Customer: Oh, so your wife is Brazilian?
AT&T employee: Yes.
Customer: Oh, I lived in Brazil for two years! Yeah, Brazilian women are fabulous! They are so beautiful!
AT&T employee, awkwardly: Yeah… I love my wife.
Customer: So, do you have any children?
AT&T employee: No, not yet.
Customer: So what brought you to New Hampshire?
AT&T employee: Um… My parents.
Customer: So where do they live around here?
AT&T Store
West Lebanon, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Bradford
never drink with a brit. Especially if you are asian.
Boston, Ma
Cubicle dweller #1: I heard there are dogs they've actually trained to sniff trace amounts of gluten.
Cubicle dweller #2: Wait, so… (long pause) Can you train a dog to sniff anything?
Purchase, New York
Employee #1: May I take your order, please?
Drive-thru customer: I want a Double Whopper, plain — only cheese and a little mustard.
Employee #1: … I’m sorry, we don’t sell Double Whoppers here.
Customer: Oh, you don’t? Okay, let me get just a Whopper, then.
Employee #2: Sir, we don’t sell Whoppers. This is Wendy’s.
Customer, unfazed: Oh. Okay then.
1066 Independence Boulevard
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: wage slave
Lady peon: Having a shower in December is the perfect idea. You’re going to get so many sex toys!
Baby goods store
Danbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: This makes my job worth it…
Professor: People never say half the things they are supposed to have said. I mean, just ask Jesus — ‘It wasn’t me, it was my flippin’ disciples.’
Queens University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
