Volunteer to another, in giraffe house: You should have been here last night — it was a total zoo.
Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Randy Peterman
Volunteer to another, in giraffe house: You should have been here last night — it was a total zoo.
Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Randy Peterman
Heavy male coworker: I really need to go on a diet. My tits are getting way too big.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: thesugarmonster
Cube rat: Dude, I got so drunk last night! I ran into this guy I haven’t seen in 20 years — he owns a tow truck. I got so drunk that he put my car on the truck and drove me home!
2300 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sober but Empathetic
Grunt #1 on phone: They said that I was down there for one of two reasons — to buy drugs or find a prostitute.
Grunt #2, after #1 hangs up: I don’t want to know. As long as it was billable…
Grunt #1: What’s the task code for hiring a prostitute?
180 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: in tears
Female office worker: I think I like this purse more than my Coach purse. It fits more stuff. I could fit a burrito in here! Actually, I do have a burrito in here.
350 Los Ranchitos Road
San Rafael, California
Lab rat #1: What was the IT guy doing here?
Lab rat #2: Connecting the refrigerator to the Internet… There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
Fordham University
New York, New York
Overheard by: Andrea
Female analyst: Actually, my parents are in town this weekend. I think we’re going to go see the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Male analyst: Oh! The Dead Sea Scrolls! You mean… the band?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Bored Actuarial Intern
Female coworker to male coworker: You need to squeeze as you smell the hole to make air come out.
Richmond, Virginia
Office grunt: Now if I say something tastes like shit, I’ll have a frame of reference.
Hyde Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A.D.
Old woman: She’s been doing the moonwalk.
Young woman: That’s great!
Old woman: They’re waiting to find out the results of her biopsy.
Young woman: Yeah…
417 3rd Avenue
Albany, Georgia
