Coworker #1: Man, my digital camera broke. Now the sky turns pink and clouds appear green.
Coworker #2: Oh, really? That sucks.
Coworker #1: In the pictures, I mean.
Coworker #2: [Silence.]
19111 Pruneridge Avenue
Cupertino, California
Coworker #1: Man, my digital camera broke. Now the sky turns pink and clouds appear green.
Coworker #2: Oh, really? That sucks.
Coworker #1: In the pictures, I mean.
Coworker #2: [Silence.]
19111 Pruneridge Avenue
Cupertino, California
Girl employee: Ouch.
Guy employee: Oh, sorry. Okay, it’s not going to work from the front, let’s try it from behind.
14225 Newbrook Drive
Chantilly, Virginia
Lady: Does your massage therapist work through knots well?
Guy: Yeah, and she even has this jackhammer apparatus to do your butt with.
400 West Capitol
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Sounds Scary!
Coworker: I’m trying to open an email attachment and the virus software isn’t letting me because it says it has a virus. Can you come turn off the virus software so I can open it?
IT chick, shocked: No!
Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia
Guy to coworker sitting on exercise ball at computer: Well, I’ll just let you get on with your ball massage.
39 Norwich-Westerly Road
Mashantucket, Connecticut
Overheard by: Calamity Canyon
Hispanic lady: My husband just called to let me know that he’s cooking dinner for me tonight — it’ll be ready when I get home.
Black guy: That’s bullshit. He’s just full of Budweiser, wantin’ you to come home and all.
Hispanic lady: My husband don’t drink no more!
Black guy: Bullshit!
Hispanic lady: No, really! He stopped drinking and smoking 10 years ago!
Black guy: Well, if he don’t drink then he ain’t no Mexican. That’s all they do!
Houston, Texas
Coworker #1: Did Jim* tell you that you had to sniff these to make sure the sensors weren’t burnt?
Coworker #2: Sniff what?
Coworker #1: These units.
Coworker #2: No, Jim did not ask if I would sniff units.
133 Aviation Boulevard
Santa Rosa, California
Coworker #1: Ugh, it feels like Monday!
Coworker #2: It is Monday.
Coworker #1: Oh. Still…
7231 Parkway Drive
Hanover, Maryland
Yuppie girl: I found a turtle over the weekend. I put it in my backyard.
Flakey girl: What did you call it?
Yuppie girl: Myrtle.
Flakey girl: Is it fertile?
Yuppie girl: Is it what?
Flakey girl: Is it fer-tile? I was rhyming…
Yuppie girl: No, it’s a turtle.
Flakey girl: Myrtle, the fertile turtle.
Yuppie girl: You’re like Phoebe of Friends.
Flakey girl: You’re like Ross.
St. Kilda Road
Melbourne
Australia
Man: Hey, do you know what ski-shooting is?
Lady: Ski-shooting?
Man: Yeah… Ski-shooting… Where you shoot at things while you are skiing.
Lady: Do you mean skeet-shooting? They don’t ski and shoot… They shoot at clay disk things.
Man: Oh, is that what it’s called? So they don’t ski while they are shooting?
Lady: No… But when you try it let me know. I want to see that.
St. Louis, Missouri
