Mail guy: Do you play soccer?
Office girl: No.
Mail guy: Oh, you look like a soccer player.
Office girl: Cool.
Mail guy: Do you like wet food or dry food?
Walnut Hill Lane and U.S. 75
Dallas, Texas
Mail guy: Do you play soccer?
Office girl: No.
Mail guy: Oh, you look like a soccer player.
Office girl: Cool.
Mail guy: Do you like wet food or dry food?
Walnut Hill Lane and U.S. 75
Dallas, Texas
Reporter on phone: On that naked guy story, was that 18-wheeler his? … Is he out of jail yet? … He was slippery?
Beaumont, Texas
Tech, watching movie trailer online: Man, that’s delicious. It’s like drinking Jesus’s sperm.
Hyde Park
Austin, Texas
Professor: So, what did you think of the reading?
Student: Well, when I read the first part, I was like, ‘Dang!’
Professor: Um…
Student: And when I read the last part, I was like, ‘Dang! I mean, dang!’
University of North Texas
Denton, Texas
Lawyer on cell: … But where am I supposed to find a codpiece?!
Park Central Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Disturbed Paralegal
IT nerd to another: Yeah, it was just a banana hammock, but I never did much with it besides keep sunflower seeds in it and stuff.
Park Lane and Highway 75
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: cherry
Shop foreman: I wish I was a woman so I could be pretty.
I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Jocelyn
Office drone #1, rubbing head: I’m so confused.
Office drone #2: Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.
Office drone #1: Uh, thanks, but that’s not what I meant.
Eldridge Parkway and Memorial Drive
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Johnny
Boss: I’m going to get wrinkles from making the sympathy face.
101 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas
Guy training hostess to roll silverware: Do you know how to roll a blunt?
Hostess: No…
Guy: Well, it’s pretty much the same way.
Mexican Restaurant
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hilary
