Texas

Large, bearded interviewee: … And I have to tell you that I do smoke pot… But I used to do construction, and I was high the whole time I did that, and that’s a lot more dangerous than this.

Addison, Texas

Overheard by: curtis

[Male employee #1 offers doughnut to female employee.]

Female employee: I am not putting that into my body.
Male employee #1: That is pretty pompous.
Male employee #2: I know! You should see what she puts into her body, and how fast!
Male employee #1, after long silence: Um, so, did you see my e-mail from yesterday?

North Lamar Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Oh really?

Legal assistant on phone: I said I don’t like talking about MySpace! … Because it always starts a fight!

1900 Pearl Street
Austin, Texas

Teacher: Do you all know your Roman numerals?
Student: Yeah — aren’t them those noodles you eat?

Rosedale Street
Fort Worth, Texas

Overheard by: MsTchr4678

Mail guy: Do you play soccer?
Office girl: No.
Mail guy: Oh, you look like a soccer player.
Office girl: Cool.
Mail guy: Do you like wet food or dry food?

Walnut Hill Lane and U.S. 75
Dallas, Texas

Reporter on phone: On that naked guy story, was that 18-wheeler his? … Is he out of jail yet? … He was slippery?

Beaumont, Texas

Tech, watching movie trailer online: Man, that’s delicious. It’s like drinking Jesus’s sperm.

Hyde Park
Austin, Texas

Professor: So, what did you think of the reading?
Student: Well, when I read the first part, I was like, ‘Dang!’
Professor: Um…
Student: And when I read the last part, I was like, ‘Dang! I mean, dang!’

University of North Texas
Denton, Texas

Lawyer on cell: … But where am I supposed to find a codpiece?!

Park Central Drive
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Disturbed Paralegal

IT nerd to another: Yeah, it was just a banana hammock, but I never did much with it besides keep sunflower seeds in it and stuff.

Park Lane and Highway 75
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: cherry