Clerk #1: My boss is bad off because he ain’t had a BM for weeks.
Clerk #2: Ass-kisser.
Central Park West and 71st Street
New York, New York
Clerk #1: My boss is bad off because he ain’t had a BM for weeks.
Clerk #2: Ass-kisser.
Central Park West and 71st Street
New York, New York
Coworker #1: When she [pregnant supervisor] saw what we did here, she almost had her baby.
Coworker #2: In a bad way?
Coworker #3: Nobody has a baby in a good way!
640 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Cube rat: How do you say ‘ejaculation’ in Pig Latin?
11 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Boss: How long do I still have to wait for those reports?
Worker: Steve* is doing the final results. [Both stare at Steve.]Steve, coming out of a reverie: A polar bear is as tall as an elephant!
New York, New York
Overheard by: WTF
Big boss, after company-wide sales meeting: Are there any questions?
Employee #1: Yeah — how come all of a sudden the soda machine only gives back one quarter from a dollar?
Big boss: How much?
Employee #1: Just one quarter.
Big boss: Did it used to give more?
Employee #1: Yes, I used to get two back.
Employee #2: Soda is 75 cents.
Employee #1: I’ve been here for 13 years and it’s been the same — I always get two quarters back.
Employee #2: I’ve been here for two years and it’s been 75 cents for at least that long. Maybe the machine was broken.
Employee #1: No, it wasn’t broken!
Big boss: You have to stop now.
233 Spring Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: get me out of here
Music industry worker: I want to hear that one pretty song about her dad dying.
150 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Lab rat #1: What was the IT guy doing here?
Lab rat #2: Connecting the refrigerator to the Internet… There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
Fordham University
New York, New York
Overheard by: Andrea
Boss: Have you ever heard of a book with a swastika on the cover that didn’t sell?
555 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Guy eating lunch: Yeah, Grand Theft Auto is kind of violent, but it’s fun to run people over!
HR woman: My favorite thing to do is pick up the prostitute, bring her into an alley, you do your business, and then you shoot her in the head and take your money back. [Two minutes later] I also like to beat up old ladies…
111 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: Is there anyone with a brain out there?
10th Avenue
New York, New York
