Little girl: We’re going to the three floor.
Mom: The third floor.
Little girl: Third floor. Mommy, what’s on the third floor?
Mom: The cafeteria. I’m gonna see if they can get you a salad instead of the crap you eat.
[doors open, they get off and start walking away.]Little girl: I eat chocolate two times every day, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Duncan
Five-year-old boy, visiting dad’s law firm: I wish I could work here. One day, I’m gonna become a liar so I can work here.
Father: ‘Lawyer.’ It’s pronounced lawyer.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: amco
Kid: I have to tell you something.
Teacher: Okay…
Kid: Sometimes when I fart, I get poop in my pants.
Teacher: I don’t need to know that.
Public school
Maryland
Little boy to mom: You know what I like to suck?
Clothing store, Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Ohgodmustn’tsayanything
