Female colleague #1: Isn’t it amazing?
Female colleague #2: Oh, come on — it’s made of felt.
Female colleague #1: Exactly…
Munich
Germany
Overheard by: Dapbim
Female colleague #1: Isn’t it amazing?
Female colleague #2: Oh, come on — it’s made of felt.
Female colleague #1: Exactly…
Munich
Germany
Overheard by: Dapbim
Hospital aide: Yeah, these pants come in ‘Large’ and ‘Holy shit, you’re fat’!
Hospital
Monroeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The other aide
Office hottie #1: Just think of all the stuff we put in our mouths that we don’t think about…
Office hottie #2: Ummm…
8891 Gander Creek
Dayton, Ohio
Loud office chick: Oh, I always used to eat paper! But not, like, toilet paper. Like, notebook paper.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Programmer: Does anyone want a free, almost clean keyboard?
Tech support peon: Not until you tell us what you just ‘almost cleaned’ off of it.
Programmer: Jeff*.
Tech support peon: Uhhh, no thanks.
Islington, London
England
Coworker, explaining Band-Aid inside his elbow: Dracula got me.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Lady peon to another: I’m so sorry! It’s just a weird thing, and I usually don’t hear that happening to a guy!
2211 North 1st Street
San Jose, California
Creepster coworker: That leather is soft, like your mother’s skin.
Brush College Road
Decatur, Illinois
Overheard by: My mother’s softer than leather
Guy training hostess to roll silverware: Do you know how to roll a blunt?
Hostess: No…
Guy: Well, it’s pretty much the same way.
Mexican Restaurant
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hilary
60-ish suit in Cubs jacket on cell: I’m on the bus right now. I’m going to the Cubs game. Well, I just left Dad, and I gotta say, it doesn’t look too good. They’re feeding him through a stomach tube and they’ve got him on a drip. You know, he had that quadruple bypass a couple of years ago and he’s got diabetes now… He’s been unconscious most of the time when I visit him, and… Yeah, well, don’t wish me good luck. The Cubbies are the ones who need it!
Clarke Street bus
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: priorities schmiorities
